June 24, 2018

Santa of Sedona’s Traits

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  • He arrives in a reindeer-drawn UFO.
  • His suit is the color of red rock dust.
  • He never refers to a list. He uses a crystal ball to determine what Sedona kids want.
  • Instead oh Ho, Ho, Ho, he chants Ommm, Ommm, Ommm.
  • There’s a funny smell coming from his pipe.
  • His beard is twisted into braids.
  • Rudolph’s nose is teal.
  • Hires temporary helpers from roadsides to expedite gift delivery.
  • Sports a Kokopelli tattoo on his left forearm.
  • Only delivers fruitcakes to the people who have been naughty.
  • Stores extra gifts in Chimney Rock.
  • Has mullet haircut under his red cap.
  • Refuses to deliver to certain timeshares.

 

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