October 18, 2017

Zulu Mystery Cave

Dear Sister, I have told you before, I have this Zulu friend, whose name is Saki, who likes to call himself a Sedona resident, and I myself may be the only man around who actually knows where that residence is. It’s a cave, believe it or not, deep underground among our famous Red Rocks, very handy to the waters of our beautiful Oak Creek. He likes to swim a lot, and takes a thirty-foot dive before he actually hits water, close by an official sign that states: “Dangerous Currents – Do Not Swim Here.” Just a cave? Well, it was…

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Raising The Retirement Age . . .

Suffering from the hardship of not receiving royalties from his record publishers, this man, we’ll call him Arthur, has been a street performer for more than 6 decades. He qualified for assistance, but a government employee saw him perform and turned him in for not declaring the change people threw into his basket. Now, some heartless politicians want to take away his health insurance. And, the city has revoked his temporary permits because too many businesses complained he was taking their potential income from tourists and some locals don’t like his style of music. Related posts: Doug “Rabbit” Sutherland, Minister…

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Happy Saint Valentine’s Day . . .

Albeit Saint Valentine’s Day is the day of celebratory feasting for many religions, it has morphed into a day when women look to connect or reconnect with a significant other. It is a day and night filled with romance and champagne, touching cards and boxes of chocolate covered cherries packaged in the shape of hearts, Restaurants around the world look forward to Valentine’s Day when filet mignon and lobster reign. Wine and dine time. Roses and other flower arrangements with accompanying love notes delivered by messenger. Gifts of perfume, lingerie and jewelry, or all three for that very special Valentine….

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Let It Snow . . .

Winter brings the beauty of snow in many parts of the country. Some people deal with it better than others. While it makes traveling challenging, it brings out the kid in all of us. Fond memories on building snow caves and forts for snowball fights, sledding, skiing, sledding and horse drawn sleighs and making snow angels with our arms and legs. Children everywhere still hope for enough snow to close the schools. Many adults have a different take on the white, wet wonder. Faced with having to drive to work or shovel the driveway and sidewalks to avoid taking a…

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Watch Your Step . . .

Even while more than 90% of environmental scientists agree that, with proper regulation and increased use of renewable energy, the current negative impact may be reversed with time, there are politicians that would rather let Americans breathe, eat and drink unsafe air, food and water than force those responsible to clean up their mess. Somebody, eventually has to put their foot down and take the higher moral ground. If not, future generations may find themselves chewing air, growing their own food and bathing in bottled water. Wait, the current generation is already growing their own food and bathing in bottled…

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Not So Happy Halloween. . .

While most pumpkins were busy adorning porches and decks to entertain neighborhood trick or treaters, these jack-o-lanterns were displaying some seriously bad behavior during All Hallows Eve. One of the American native winter squash had at least one too many beers with the result being and eruption of involuntarily spewed seeds and filling. A well behaved pumpkin would not only have provided entertainment to Halloween revelers, but also yielded its filling for pumpkin pies and seeds for salad toppings. Next year, the owners of this house are going plastic. Related posts: Cheap Halloween Happy Saint Valentine’s Day . . ….

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American Scots Celebrate UK Vote . . .

Donning the official colors of his clan, this piper fills his bag with air and begins skirling with other pipers in uplifting unison at a gathering celebrating Scottish traditions. While some customs are ongoing, Scottish cuisine has recently been elevated from haggis to gourmet meet and vegetable dishes and the kilt is finding its way on the catwalk at nouveau riche fashion shows from New York to Paris. The piper in this photo didn’t miss a beat as his two boys made a concerted effort to distract him. The word is haggis is on the menu for tonight’s dinner. Related…

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Scotch With Water

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotchwith two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says ‘I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today.’ The bartender says ‘Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.’ As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says ‘I would like to buy you a drink, too.’ The old woman says ‘Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.’ ‘Coming up’ says the…

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More Politics For Dummies . . .

Our crack staff takes a look at global climate change and the denial by some politicians that humans are partly responsible. Actually, it is quite understandable. These same politicians believe the Flinstones were real and sexual orientation can be cured with liniment and a marathon of Scared Straight movies. In this picture, an innocent boy confronts a lizard women (further proof that people lived among dinosaurs). Though politicians have the power to reduce carbon emissions, they would rather convince Lizard Lady to buy more sun screen. Related posts: Politics For Dummies . . . Doug “Rabbit” Sutherland, Minister of Reality…

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Politics For Dummies . . .

Our crack staff takes a look at the political climate of the upcoming U.S. Senate and House races voters will decide on later this year. Usually the candidate with the most money wins. But, this voting cycle is shaping up to possibly upset the odds makers, or king makers. While some candidates profess to desire little government with low taxes and are willing to turn a blind eye to the needy, others demand no government with no taxes and are happy to watch the needy perish. Funny, thinning the herd seems to be more Darwinian than Biblical. It’s just politics….

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UberMatch.com

Our crack staff takes a look at the latest computer software able to match people right down to the bulging eyes. This couple was desperately searching as individuals to find someone compatible. For years, they submitted their profile information and pictures to every available computer match company, only to face disappointment time and time again. Exhausted by myriad searches, each, not knowing one another at the time, submitted their information, as a last ditch effort, to UberMatch.com. Low and behold, it’s love at first sight! Related posts: Teamwork

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The Government, Part Whatever, IIIish

Our crack staff takes a look at the influence the seemingly never ending sequester has imposed on public transportation. Known as “trickle down economics,” the federal government withholds funding to the states, who in turn denies revenue to the counties, who no longer gives money to the cities, who then shut down public programs. Forced to improvise, organizations find themselves depending on donations, grants and thee generosity of th private sector. This once-thriving bus company that had previously offered free transportation to the public in Cornville could no longer afford the fuel necessary for combustion and resorted to alternative power….

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The Government, Part Whatever, II

Our crack staff takes a look at the results of the delaying of the passing of a Farm Bill. In certain sections of the country, cattle are committing suicide by leaping off mountain edges onto oncoming traffic. Some animal psychologists are attributing the recent bovine headers to a depression brought on from misplaced guilt over transfat. Feeling responsible for the obesity rate in America and the rise of heart attacks and diabetes among young adults, cattle have taken to making themselves inedible by becoming road kill. At first they tried walking into traffic against the lights and not a crosswalks….

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Directions from the U.S. Government

Our crack staff takes a look at the results of the Government Sequester. Claiming to save large sums of money spent of projects that would provide jobs and income to the nation, elected officials have managed to put the most industrialized country in the world on hold. It’s not only kept people from finding employment repairing our dilapidated road system, including bridges near collapse and archaic railways and landing strips, but it’s kept the people who would be at these new jobs from spending money at other businesses, improving their living situations. Now, due to budget cuts, those who have…

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Our Government . . . Out Of Service

Still reeling from the utter state of confusion in Washington, our staff decided to conduct an in depth study on the possible cause of Congress voting from crisis to crisis. If the American public is expected to work side by side in factories and schools, on the streets and on the battlefield without the distraction of religious, ideological and sexual differences, why then can’t the same demands be placed on elected officials. While our leaders seem quite willing to send our troops to foreign countries and spend our treasure to convert countries’ political structures from dictatorships and totalitarianism and despotism,…

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Beating The Walmart Crowd…

Now shoppers who in the past had to bring a sleeping bag to camp out at their favorite store to take advantage of those early bird bargains on Black Friday following Thanksgiving can rest in line in comfort in their new Shoppers Recreational Vehicle. Gone are the days of lawn chairs and thermos coffee to beat competitors to the newest fad toy or game before the shelves empty. The SRV is so compact that the driver can tow it behind their motorized shopping cart and load it up with all their goodies before heading home for a well deserved nap….

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