October 18, 2017

Santa of Sedona’s Traits

He arrives in a reindeer-drawn UFO. His suit is the color of red rock dust. He never refers to a list. He uses a crystal ball to determine what Sedona kids want. Instead oh Ho, Ho, Ho, he chants Ommm, Ommm, Ommm. There’s a funny smell coming from his pipe. His beard is twisted into braids. Rudolph’s nose is teal. Hires temporary helpers from roadsides to expedite gift delivery. Sports a Kokopelli tattoo on his left forearm. Only delivers fruitcakes to the people who have been naughty. Stores extra gifts in Chimney Rock. Has mullet haircut under his red cap….

The Way It Used to Be

Easy is getting harder every day. –Iris Dement Shopping frenzy like some great storm is blowing across the land, generating time-consuming lines of ill-behaved citizens, lords and ladies, poets and divines pawing the fresh black asphalt in front of mammoth box stores; vast resource-sucking monoliths peddling products that didn’t exist a few decades ago and likely will end up in refuse cans before the spring melt or hopefully at Sedona Recycles. “It’s not like the good old days,” a grizzled actor murmured into his Jack on the rocks once upon a time in a notorious Hollywood saloon. “And they never…

Christmas 2012!

Christmas this year fetched up on the shores of Doodlebug Island in much the same fashion as in previous years with the exception of the increase of baking, neighboring, and gift giving that threatened to swamp past records for their intensity and thoroughness. It almost had an Aztec “end of the world” quality to it because activity rose to a peak about the twenty-second following a solid month of preparation, which nearly eclipsed Thanksgiving altogether. The twenty-third, twenty-fourth, and Christmas Day itself were anticlimactic with Islanders hunkering down at home like so many hibernating bears, content in the belief they’d…

Santa’s Xtreme Makeover!

SEDONA, AZ. “The Amazing Race,” “American Idol,” “The Apprentice,” “The Bachelor,” “Wife Swapping,” “Fear Factor,” “Last Comic Standing,” “Survivor,” “Trading Spaces” and “Extreme Makeover” are a few of the television shows replacing sitcoms as America’s prime-time viewing choices. Capitalizing on the popularity of the sometimes racy, mostly inane shows and the viewing public’s obvious need for entertainment at par with bobbing for fugu, Santa Claus, the real one, not one of the department store imitators, has decided to shoot a reality show in the once rustic, tranquil Sedona, Arizona. “Sedona, a city recently jolted by the onslaught of progress, is…