October 18, 2017

Strange & Cool Sedona Stuff

Curious Places: Chapel in the Rock (Sedona/ Arizona) Sun, 28 Apr 2013 Chapel in the Rock (Sedona/ Arizona). The Chapel of the Holy Cross also known as Chapel in the Rock was built into the mesas of Sedona, Arizona in 1956. It was inspired and commissioned by sculptor Marguerite Brunswig Staude, … Stargazing in Sedona – Intelligent Travel Thu, 25 Apr 2013 After a 13-hour drive from Sequoia to Sedona — during which I nearly ran out of gas on a beautiful but desolate stretch of highway 40 (if it hadn’t been for Max’s hybrid endurance, I absolutely would have!)…

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Who Put the Oxy in Moron?

Popular affordable housing options in Sedona I’m not a betting woman, but I’d haul out my two cents, slap them down, and wager that Hollywood is not considering Sedona for its next reality show any time soon. Just when I think that maybe there is normality in La La Land, I encounter something that reaffirms my belief that Sedona is a holding tank for absurdity. I recently spotted a channeling advertisement on a store bulletin board that confirmed my view. Of course, I had to read it. You never know where comedy lurks! According to this notice, Bible characters, Native…

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Barbecue the Sacred Cow

Recently I saw my neighbor Gee Gee and noticed she had a long, gloomy face. I debated whether or not to ask her what was wrong. I knew that if I asked I would be capitulated into a cerebral wasteland, listening to her mind-numbing monologue, and waste another half-hour of my life, a half-hour I would never get back. While these thoughts raced through my mind, she walked over and stated, “Guess what happened to me?” Gee Gee is the kind of neighbor you only seek out when your life needs a little soap opera excitement. If she is not talking…

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Manifest Destiny and a Thief’s Remorse!

This contribution to the Valley’s premiere news and literary journal will take us to the deepest of the Baja for a dark and sordid tale of power, obsolescence and man’s deepest yearning for an effortless life and frozen tropical drinks. It is a tale of manifest destiny and a thief’s remorse. It is also the story of a small creek, a big dream and the realization that nothing is forever. The time is the turn of the century (the one before this last one – Y1.9K). And the situation is one that is as tenuous as it remains today. As the story goes, a…

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Enough of the Public Cacophony!

Have you noticed that you cannot go anywhere without music playing at high volume? Banks, cable companies and psychic shops, to name a few places, pipe out loud and usually obnoxious music. And, it is not just these venues, where we’ve come to expect music, which play it; other businesses where you expect serenity or a modicum of quietness are contributing to the cacophony. Doctor’s offices, elevators, and stores all feature music to help you shop or pass the time. Why is it that we cannot have silence in public places? Why isn’t the subtle pinging of cutlery against plates…

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Arizona Barbies and Her Friends from the Net

Scottsdale Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at The Borgata. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with “augmented” version. Arcadia Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Scottsdale Fashion Square. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus or Suburban, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a refurbished house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in…

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Snoopy Rock’s To Do List

Get Sedonans to chip in on decent Dog House Rock. Quit chasing Rooster Rock, except on weekends. Invite the Red Baron over for pizza. Stop lifting leg every time I pass Chimney Rock. Have Garfield and Odie over for Red Dog Beer. Head up petition drive to outlaw celebrity rock dog neutering. Go to Slide Rock and cool off the hot paws. Make Football Rock for Charlie Brown. Renew subscription to AKC Gazette magazine. Stop chasing tail during full moon. Get back frisbee from bully extraterrestrials. Sniff backs of rocks shaped like dogs. Persuade folks at Eukanuba to sponsor rock…

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Sedona Proverbs

Do not judge a king by his crown or a peasant by his boots, but avoid those who wear both a belt and suspenders. Anything is possible for those who think it so and happen to be filthy rich. Those who wrestle with their conscience find the fight fixed. He who lives in a house of straw should not light too many prayer candles and avoid ear coning. He who knows not where he is will still refuse directions. You never know what you can accomplish until your spouse forces you to do it. He that is sure he knows…

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Letter to the Chimney Man

Dear Santa, Let me be blunt. Do you actually exist? This querulous query draws me, a humble divorcee, into angry arguments with some of my quasi-academic friends—not to mention all my X’s in Texas. It’s like this. Over flagons of easy-on-the-pocket sherry in the faculty lounge, academics insist on insisting that what seems real is actually unreal and what appears to be unreal is really as real as yellow violets on April days. Therefore, they say, it doesn’t matter whether I believe in you or not, since what IS just IS. So let me get straight to the point. It is my…

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AUNT EDNA’S BEST RUM COOKIES EVER!

The Excentric continues its tradition of publishing Aunt Edna’s Best Rum Cookies Ever! She originally submitted this recipe in 1991. For years it has been written in near its original form. Here’s what you’ll need: 1 or 2 quarts Rum 1 stick butter 1 cup sugar 2 large eggs ¼ cup brown sugar 1 cup dried fruit ¼ cup chopped nuts 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp lemon juice Before you start, sample the Rum to check for quality. Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring spoons and cup, mixer and un-greased baking sheet,…

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