November 28, 2023

Sedona Proposed Improvements

  • Fountains will be redesigned to spew sewer treatment water.
  • Dry Creek Road will be renamed Sometimes Flooded Way.
  • Capital Butte will become Bureaucrat Butt.
  • Stutz Bearcat will soon be known as Kia Sedona.
  • Steamboat Rock will begin to offer sunset dinner cruises.
  • Bell Rock will be turned into a domed ice hockey stadium.
  • Sugar Loaf will be downsized and reduced to Low Carb Butte.
  • Courthouse Butte will be partitioned to the new City Hall.
  • Snoopy Rock will be picked up for not wearing dog tags.
  • The Two Nuns Formation will be questioned and released.
  • Slide Rock will require “Slippery When Wet” signs be posted.
  • People with Montezuma’s Revenge will be barred from visiting Montezuma’s Well.
  • Cornville will attempt to annex Sedona, which will attempt to annex the Village of Oak Creek, which will attempt to annex Cornville.
  • Fort Hyatt will install a moat-like fountain area.
  • The “Y” intersection, once renamed the “X,” will now be known as the Big “O,” leaving people wandering the streets for days, dazed and confused.
  • Submarine Rock will be purchased by the Dept. of the Navy.
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