November 17, 2018

AUNT EDNA’S BEST RUM COOKIES EVER!

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The Excentric continues its tradition of publishing Aunt Edna’s Best Rum Cookies Ever! She originally submitted this recipe in 1991. For years it has been written in near its original form.

Here’s what you’ll need:
1 or 2 quarts Rum
1 stick butter
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
¼ cup brown sugar
1 cup dried fruit
¼ cup chopped nuts
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp lemon juice

Before you start, sample the Rum to check for quality. Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring spoons and cup, mixer and un-greased baking sheet, etcetera. Pre heat oven to 325 degrees. Check the Rum again – it must be just right.

To be sure the Rum is of the very finest quality, pour 1 level cup of Rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Rinse and repeat. With an electric mister, beat up 1 cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add one well-rounded seaspoon of thugar and beat up some more, again. Mean while, go back and make sure the Rum is of the assolute qualdity.
Try an other cup. Open second quart if necressary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat up til high. If druit sticks up in mister beaters, just pry loose with drewscriber or spoom.

Sample the Rum at lease once more time, checking close for tonsicistricy. Nest, shift three cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn’t maddrer) and sample Wum some more. Shift pint of lenom juice.

Fold up chopped butter and strain your nuts. Add 1 babblespoon brown thugar or whatever color’s hamdy. Wix mell. Grease oven and turn cookies sheets down to 305 gredees.

Now dump the whole mass on cooking sheep and toss it right into the boven and ake. Fimish Wum. It won’t keep.
Remove coogies, trow umder tree for Samta and bo to ged.

In the event someone actually tries this recipe at home, the Excentric shall be held harmless and the baker should be treated immediately.

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