August 23, 2017

Guns, Guns and More Guns?

The Sedona Excentric investigative team takes a look at the rising crime rate in metropolitan America. While the suburbs seem to be getting safer, violent crimes are still a concern. This group of individuals were suspected of trying to buy guns at a gun show without identification. It turned out that the men were actually working undercover for a television station to expose the ease at which non-traceable guns are being acquired by the general public. Fortunately for the young men, their accompanying mascot, Rudy, was wearing a collar with a tag that could be tracked to the local Human…

Odd Couples

The Sedona Excentric World investigative team takes a look at odd couples, what with a divided country lead by a highly divided Congress while representing separations within one party. Perhaps the reason previous  congressional representatives seemingly got along, at least enough not to purposely damage the country, was that they knew each other socially. There were times when proposed legislation was not representative of the principles of one party or the other, but with meetings between leaders of each party a compromise could be made for the good of the country and patriotism. The general public never knew about the…

It Takes a Village

Alright, I get it. You don’t like the idea that I put my dog in a mail box and shipped him of to live with a Caribbean witch doctor. No more letters. Please. However, for the sake of full disclosure, it wasn’t my idea. For those of you, who missed last month’s article, let me fill you in. Back in February, I came home one dismal afternoon and found my 90 pound pooch, Jethro, squoze tightly into my mail box. After I had successfully extracted, I noticed he had postage stamps stuck to his forehead and the address of a…

The Cat and the Cabbie…

We were dressed and ready to go out for a party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes on out to the…

That’s Not My Dog

by Gideon Noire I went boating a few weeks ago with my friend, Skeeter. And when I got home there was a pooch on my porch. I don’t suppose that’s all that newsworthy, but the dog, in the words of the famous criminologist Inspector Clousaeu, was not my dog. At least, that was my impression. His name, I was told later that evening as Esmeralda and I sat staring into his obviously loving but clearly confused canine eyes, was Luther. And yes, she said, he was…our…dog. As Skeeter and I had bumped blissfully over the Ditty River’s shallow rapids that…

Today’s Moribund Economy

Sedona Excentric World looks at some ways Americans are adapting in today’s moribund economy. One Cornville, AZ resident was forced to sell his pickup recently to make ends meet. Before departing with his second favorite possession, he offloaded the cab and created a shaded cover for his pets, complete with windows. To secure it for upcoming monsoon winds, he placed his picnic table, which once occupied the area where the doghouse settled, on top of the dogs’ new shelter. As shown in the picture, the picnic table was missing one bench, causing the table to tip over and toss food…

Creative Ways to Avoid Accidents

Sedona Excentric World looks at new, creative ways to avoid accidents between cattle and automobiles on Page Springs Road. According to local scuttlebutt, as many as 19 cows have been struck by unsuspecting travelers heading to and from home in Cornville. Arizona law continues to give the right-of-way to the meandering domesticated bovines and holds the drivers, no matter how careful to avoid the large roadway obstacles, completely responsible. In today’s economy, the price of some heads of cattle exceeds the value of the used automobile it was struck with. Some Cornvillians, upset by the unusually high number of car-killed…

Rising Cost of Fuel Spurs Alternative Modes of Transportation

Sedona Excentric World staff members take a look at the rising cost of fuel on the logging industry in Flagstaff, Arizona. While many Americans have abandoned their standard vehicles for mass transit, smaller fuel-efficient cars, scooters and bicycles, commercial enterprises too have had to resort to alternative modes of transportation. According to a moose salesman in Saskatchewan, Canada, not only has the Canadian dollar soared in value due to the increase in oil prices (Canada is the number 1 importer of fuel oil to the United States, Mexico being second), but their importation of moose and their prices have increased…

Letter to the Chimney Man

Dear Santa, Let me be blunt. Do you actually exist? This querulous query draws me, a humble divorcee, into angry arguments with some of my quasi-academic friends—not to mention all my X’s in Texas. It’s like this. Over flagons of easy-on-the-pocket sherry in the faculty lounge, academics insist on insisting that what seems real is actually unreal and what appears to be unreal is really as real as yellow violets on April days. Therefore, they say, it doesn’t matter whether I believe in you or not, since what IS just IS. So let me get straight to the point. It is my…

A Fearless Breed of Trained Animals

Sedona Excentric World staff members take a look at the fearless breed of animals trained to find missing children, hidden contraband and criminals on the run. This photograph is of one of those highly trained canines, Boomer, a male bloodhound, working with law enforcement to capture a suspected robber in the area of the Beaver Creek Golf Club. The man allegedly took balls that had been launched into Wet Beaver Creek the water by errant golfers. Witnesses say the disheveled robber appeared to be a vagrant seen wandering the woods nearby. An investigation turned up a mini-camp with a small…

Beat the Heat . . .

With record highs seeming to become the norm in Arizona, critters across the state are forced to find creative ways to cool off. Along with the rising temperatures, drought conditions are causing the water levels in Arizona creeks, rivers, lakes and ponds to shrink, resulting in less water sources for wildlife to seek refuge. Fortunately and unfortunately, human impact, due to population sprawl has influenced the behavior of the animal kingdom surrounding them. The fortune in the case for this exhausted squirrel was a bowl of iced water left for someone’s pet.   Related posts: Feeling Just A Little Squirrely……