Lost In New York . . . By Bishop, Sometimes Travel Reporter
None but a fool worries about things he cannot influence — Samuel Johnson Hats off to marvelous Harry’s in Cornville where one of life’s mysteries is penned to the patio wall. To wit: nobody gets to see the wizard, not nobody, not know how. If we ever needed him before, that’s nothing at all compared to how much we need him now. Scanning the world from Manhattan to West Sedona, life appears to be lurching daily from ecstasy to despair, rather like one of those endless Russian novels. There are those in West Sedona that complain about bad schools yet at…
Horoscopes for November 10-16, 2013
ARIES (March 21 – April 19) This month, you’ll need peace and quiet to think clearly. So, much like Thoreau, you’ll head out into the woods. You will solve the falling tree conundrum. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) If there’s anyone to whom you have felt attracted, this is the time to move in. You’ll appear as the most tantalizing person around, especially if trapped in an elevator. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) Use your artistic nature and love of beauty and harmony to inspire others to put away their differences. If that fails, crack the whip. Leave the…
More Yummies . . . by Joseph G. Evrard, Staff Kentuckian
From time to time here at Guy Stuff Central, we like to pause to examine the state of world gastronomy. Cooking is not only a necessary and vital thing; it is also a source of recreation and pleasure for untold millions of people around the world. Food hobbyists are legendary in their quest for the new, the unique and the spectacular menu item. Cooking clubs abound and the Internet is full of cooking and recipe chatter. Keeping up with the world of cooking and food is an overwhelming task, but fear not. Your good friend Buck is here to bring…
Curmudgeon Corner
cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner. This month’s subject: GOVERNMENT “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” Winston Churchill “No man is good enough to govern another man without the other’s consent.” Abraham Lincoln “I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a…
So You Think You’re Handy . . . by Brendon Marks
Sooner or later every homeowner is faced with the choice of attempting their own repairs, hiring a professional, replacing whatever is broken, or moving. Let me help you decide. A large part of the decision has to do with money. It is usually based on how willing the homeowner is to part with it, not so much on whether it is available. The next most important factor is tools. Skill level increases dramatically when you use the correct tool and success rate drops rapidly when you improvise (not everyone can solder a copper pipe using a Bic lighter and a…
Astrology For The Weak
CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16) Expand your horizons – see a foreign film, eat ethnic food and listen to music from another country. You’ll watch Prozac Nation, eat Nachos and listen to Foreigner. AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11) You will take a break, go outside, sit in the sun, and close your eyes. Ants! Get up! Run! Hop in the shower. Relax, wait, go out at night on your deck. Skunk! Run! PISCES (March 20 – April 18) Use your good karma to generate more good vibes by doing something super nice for somebody. Careful not to wrench…
Our Government . . . Out Of Service
Still reeling from the utter state of confusion in Washington, our staff decided to conduct an in depth study on the possible cause of Congress voting from crisis to crisis. If the American public is expected to work side by side in factories and schools, on the streets and on the battlefield without the distraction of religious, ideological and sexual differences, why then can’t the same demands be placed on elected officials. While our leaders seem quite willing to send our troops to foreign countries and spend our treasure to convert countries’ political structures from dictatorships and totalitarianism and despotism,…
Strange Vortex Experiences
Below is a list of actual experiences from people who live outside Sedona after visiting a vortex for the first time. Be advised that any of these and other bizarre happenings await the inexperienced vortex visitor: Visit a vortex and start seeing red wherever you go. Visit a vortex and sparks fly from your expulsion of gas. Visit a vortex and you are compelled to start the “wave” from your church pew. Visit a vortex and mow your lawn in crop circles. Visit a vortex and start communicating with red rocks. Visit a vortex and put your “inner child” up…
Warning: Hot Coffee May be Hot, Avoid Crotch
In December, our crack Excentric members take a look at the signs businesses have been forced to post due to the ignorance of their customers and frivolous lawsuits. The woman who sued McDonald’s for spilled hot coffee comes to mind, or the man who set his RV on cruise control and left the wheel to get a beverage and sued the manufacturer for not having a sing posted that the driver shouldn’t leave the cockpit while the vehicle was in motion. In this case, if the balcony was on the ground level, it would be a patio. What is wrong…
Horoscopes for November 3-9, 2013
ARIES (March 21 – April 19) You will overhear people talking about you today. They say you are a real buff, hot, techno-muffin. Later you will discover they were talking about someone else. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) You’ll be in an accelerated mode this November. Instead of the normal day late and a dollar short, you’ll somehow manage be a total no-show and flat broke. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) You will stumble over an oddly shaped rock while on a hike in a remote part of Sedona. A psychic had told you good fortune was on the…
SEX SCANDAL ROCKS THE AREA
Pictured are the faces of dogs caught in sex scandals. Note that each one displayed the same expression when caught. While only a few admitted to paying for their extramarital encounter, they each paid for it in the end, one way or another. While the human dogs are often forgiven and permitted a second, and in some instances a third, chance, the dog dog is far too often successful in impregnating its mate first time out. Due to space limitations, very few political dogs’ pictures made the cover. Noticeably missing is John Edwards, Mark Sanford, Larry Craig, and the Governator, Arnold…
