August 23, 2017

Making Sense of Reality

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They say travel broadens the mind; but you must have the mind. –G.K. Chesterton

Now that the War on Poverty has come and gone again and powerful political movements are splitting like oak logs under the axe, and tourists in the Swiss Alps have found lakes where glaciers once were, the time has come.

Yes, gentle reader, the time really HAS come to examine a momentous development that’s thus far unreported by the effete snobs in control of the Elite Eastern Media Combine: The times really are changing. Friend Dylan, you see, was just a few decades early.

My faithful reader Jeannie, and a handful of her highly evolved and mostly awesome pals have known all along that the energies in our world have changed dramatically over the past month or so–energies that are not only intense, they are affecting us in ways to which we are unaccustomed.

What AM I talking about? Some folks have stopped reading the news altogether for fear of deepening their sense of ennui and bewilderment. Others say they are feeling as if they’ve been plugged into a light socket. Still others are questioning their sanity because their memories fail unexpectedly from one moment to the next so they forget what they were meant to do, or set out to do something else like putting out the garbage only to discover they’ve already done it.

Many readers confide that they are waking up several times during the night, their minds roiled by confusion, contradictory issues, by word from London that Shakespeare didn’t write Shakespeare’s Plays and whirling faces of people they’ve never seen before.

Too, they report that they have no desire to eat their favorite foods anymore, even the lasagna at Troia’s. As a result, they’ve been experiencing pain in their necks, backs and joints not to mention contending with what are euphemistically termed, digestive issues. Sources from other dimensions advise that applying various kinds of logic to reverse these developments would be nothing short of foolhardy. Why you might ask? Because there is nothing practical about our world, our lives, our lifestyles, our energy habits, our attitudes towards developing empires like China.

Time and again, the tales that come to me are the same: If the nights are hell, so are the days. People tell me they feel unsettled even on the best of days. None of my readers have put it better than Benny the wilderness guide who complains about shadows of other world beings are gliding through my reality. I feel as if I’m viewing the world from another plane.

Is he in need of therapy?

No way, according to several informed paranormal sources. Said one ranking gurissimo: “Welcome to the fifth dimension.”

We are spontaneously learning to walk between the worlds. While we still reside within the dimension of the third, the fourth, where our consciousness lies, has leapt into higher ground. Probing deeper, I learned that in the fourth dimension, spirit is contained in human form. In the fifth dimension, however, we become spirit alone–no more midnight snacks, flagons of Pinot Noir, old Bogart films or meatloaf at Judi’s. While some Sedonans are returning to Los Angeles because they miss air they can see, others are riding the invisible magnetic wave into the fifth dimension where no one pays rent, there are no credit cards hence no one gets credit card bills. (Don’t ask how I know this, I just do).

After long discussions with various travel consultants knowledgeable about the fifth dimension, I have decided that I am staying put. I am staying put because I am waiting for the new spa that’s in the works at the Pink Nectar Cafe on the outskirts of town complete with a library, champagne massages, flagons of Cognac in between mud baths, special brunches where the various genders can mix in between showings on a monumental flat screen TV of Garbo films–definitely a fourth dimension kind of place.

Anyway, word is that no one gets pampered in the Fifth Dimension.

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