An Arizona Summer

- The birds need oven mitts just to sit on a wire.
- The trees are whistling for the dogs for a little relief.
- The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance from store.
- Hot water now comes out of both taps.
- Ranchers are feeding chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
- You can make sun tea instantly, in the shade.
- You learn that a seat belt buckle makes for a pretty good branding iron.
- Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and bake to death?”
- The temperature drops below 95 degrees only when the humidity rises to 95%.
- You discover that in summer it is best to wear gloves when steering your car.
- You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window while crossing town.
- You actually burn your hands opening the car door.
- You break into a sweat when you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
- You realize that your street has a liquid state.
- Carrots and squash cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- The cows are udderly giving powdered milk.