October 18, 2017

An Arizona Summer

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  • The birds need oven mitts just to sit on a wire.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs for a little relief.
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance from store.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • Ranchers are feeding chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
  • You can make sun tea instantly, in the shade.
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes for a pretty good branding iron.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and bake to death?”
  • The temperature drops below 95 degrees only when the humidity rises to 95%.
  • You discover that in summer it is best to wear gloves when steering your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window while crossing town.
  • You actually burn your hands opening the car door.
  • You break into a sweat when you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • You realize that your street has a liquid state.
  • Carrots and squash cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • The cows are udderly giving powdered milk.

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