You’re in Cornville If…
- Your golf cart is street legal and can outpace most cars.
- You can pay by check or credit card for window washing.
- Meals-On-Wheels is the name of a pizza delivery business.
- Your yard is fenced and separated according to species.
- You have an abundance of unused Tupperware lids because the bottoms are scattered through the house collecting drips.
- You have to borrow money from a distant relative to shop at the dollar store.
- Your personal experience qualifies you as a licensed midwife.
- You have a vast collection of Barbie Dolls without heads.
- You decorate everything in your yard during all holidays, except Yom Kippur.
- Everything you own that has wheels has been modified for off-reading.
- Your Zip Code is EIEIO and your cell phone number is BR549.
- Your keys and your wallet are attached to different loops on your jeans.
- Police, fire and animal control officials all know your family by your first names.
- You carry a piece of cardboard to catch the oil drips in nicer neighborhoods with driveways.