June 24, 2018

Pterodactyl Spotted Near Here?

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Pictured above is a photo of a pterodactyl spotted over the waters near Sedona. A new project at the Sedona Waste Water Reclamation Plant aka Sedona Wetlands Preserve is now the Sedona Sewer Lakes. The lakes will attract larger species of birds, never before lighting in or around Sedona. No one could foresee that pterodactyls would also find the newly created lakes appealing. There is something about the ripeness following a busy holiday Sedona flush. Evidence that Sedonans knew that their effluent was going to be offensive is the plant’s location–well outside of town.


by Blodwyn Smythe,
Large Bird Reporter

SEDONA, AZ: Now that the city council members of Sedona have officially abandoned the marathon project at Posse Grounds Park known locally as the Barbara Antonsen Memorial Park, former council members and special interest groups are scrambling to claim the booty left behind by the Heritage Fund from the state.

Taking the lead and anticipating receiving a bulk of the $500,000 windfall, a group of fowl lovers has taken to expanding the water reclamation system (sewerage plant). What were once holding ponds that a few web-footed birds used as swimming holes are now lakes designed to entice even the largest of water fowl to its shores. Tweets are flying everywhere foretelling the coming of herons, cardinals, tanagers, warblers, hawks, egrets and many more species that are known to call the Verde Valley home.

Bird watching along Oak Creek and the Verde River is potentially big business in North Central Arizona. While it’s true most birders tend to fill up our campgrounds, boost bottled water and wild bird seed sales, and give the appearance that there are a lot of tourists in town toting cameras with telescopic lenses and powerful binoculars, the financial impact on the city has yet to be determined.

Once the word gets out the pterodactyls and Big Bird have been spotted sunning on the newly dredged Sedona Sewer Lakes, bird watchers  are expected to flock here by the thousands to be the second to capture the aviators on digital film.

Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric has been seen spotting frequent flyers, hot dog in hand. When asked why he had abandoned his long standing vegetarian diet, Sir William explained that he could no longer eat things that had no possible chance of escape. He also believes plants could be the highest form of life, just never able to be understood or communicated with.

Bird watchers are trying desperately to convince their children to participate in the non-contact sport. To date, it has proven difficult to excite the new millennium youth about the possible sighting of a rare species of bird, even though those sightings are destined to become rarer indeed as more and more species are facing extinction, much due to the encroachment of mankind into the wild. Sure, Big Bird vacationing in Sedona is a draw to the tiny tikes hooked on phonics following their parents from one timeshare to another, but if anything could bring children to appreciate the sport of watching birds, it would be the sighting of a pterodactyl soaring over the majestic red rocks of Sedona with a flailing politician or uptown landlord in its talons on its way to Slide Rock to add to the e-coli contamination in Oak Creek. The prey’s cries to be released are drowned out by the clicks of digital camera shutters and the cheers and jeers of residents below waving American flags.

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Above is a photo of Sesame Street star, Big Bird, shown vacationing in Sedona, but noticeably not at the Sedona Sewer Lakes.

If the pterodactyls do decide to roost here and make Sedona Sewer Lakes their nesting grounds, they should fit right in. Many Verde Valley residents feel they are already surrounded by a plethora of dinosaurs who are adhering to and enforcing old rules and regulations. And, rather than meet to change and correct their prehistoric cave drawings, they stand steadfast to defend their positions.

Take, for example, the Saddlerock Barn Consignment sign at Saddlerock Circle and SR89A. Ancient rules say the sign can never have the name of the new business occupying the building, but the sign may be painted. Ergo, Sedona Motorcycles and Sedona Farmer’s Market are set back with no highway signage. However, they are permitted to paint the sign while keeping the barn name.

It’s not that variances have not been granted previously in Sedona. Buildings were granted permission to construct two-story structures–against code. Apparently, these people have more clout with the bureaucrats than an organic grocer and church-going motorcycle repair guy.

Unfortunately, rather than see businesses succeed in Sedona while applying a modicum of understanding, powers that be choose rather to enforce rules that bear no fruit of business significance.

Whether it be sour grapes, rotten apples or just organic lemons, city council members should go out to each and every business and ask what they can do to help improve sales–and not just at election time. Perhaps then, they could gain perspective on what it takes just to keep the doors open.

Had Sir William actually been here, he would have gestured to some crowd and ascended into his waiting limousine.

 

 

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