April 21, 2024

Snow and Sun Storing


CLIMATE CHANGE NEWS: Russia is storing winter snow in preparation for a dry, warm 2014. The host of the 2014 Winter Olympic Games, Sochi, Russia is preparing for a just-in-case scenario, a project costing more than $11 million. Winter games are dependent upon a lot of packed snow. Their wee-wee may contain too much vodka to make fake snow. The alarm has gone off and now Brazil, the host of the 2016 Summer Olympic Games, is rumored to be storing sunlight.

STILL MORE UFO NEWS: In a recently released memo, the FBI has admitted that Herbert Hoover did order his agency, at the request of the US Air Force, to investigate the alleged 1947 crash of UFO in the fields of Roswell, NM. An internal memo from 1950 has been declassified, revealing some details about the crash that seem to authenticate the investigation. The FBI claims that’s all they’ve got and the Air Force says they’ve got nothing. So, back to crop circle one.

FOUNDING FATHERS BOOZE NEWS: After the showing of a television series about moonshiners creating a batch of illegal booze based on the recipe from President George Washington, the curators of the Mount Vernon estate plan to release a limited run of the rye. During its peak year of 1799, his distillery produced 11,000 bottles of rye whiskey. The concoction of rye, corn and barley has been called rot gut, but seems to appeal to toothless, shoeless mountain men all named Earl, many of whom are my relatives.

TALKING CRAP NEWS: A new United Nations study has found that of the world’s estimated 7 billion people, 6 billion have access to mobile phones, but only 4.5 billion have access to a toilet. While some people can talk their way out of just about anything, in some cases that may prove difficult. For those who depend on their cell phone for their livelihood, when you get a dropped call or can’t get a signal, one of those toilets would come in handy.

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One Response to “Snow and Sun Storing”
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