July 16, 2018

Frankly Fanny . . . by Herself

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Dear Frankly:
I have been married for more than 10 years now. We have both been faithful, but my husband recently bought some cologne with pheromones in it to  see if it would attract women. He said it’s more of an experiment to see if it really works. He also said it would be nice to have women look twice at him. It would make him feel attractive. I am worried he no longer finds me attractive and is getting a roving eye. Should I be concerned about this?
      Faithful Felicia

Dear Faithful:
You’ve got to be kidding me. My fourth husband once looked at a waitress as she walked away. I served him with papers the next day. I told my lawyer to bring me his genitals on a platter. He was so grateful that I left him with some his clothing, a tooth brush and a bus pass.
Dear Frankly:
I am a 27-year-old professional man interested in a woman at my place of work. I think we are almost the same age and we have an excellent working relationship. Due to sexual harassment laws and other workplace laws, (never mind Disclosure), it is difficult to ask someone out at work. I really like this woman and think we would hit it off if we could only get together. I know I need to make the first move. How can I do this without risking my job??
Confounded Charlie

Dear Confounded:
I know laws have been established to protect workers, but don’t you guys break for lunch? I met my third husband in the cafeteria. He had the tuna salad, I had the double cheese burger. After a conversation about our eating habits, we snuck off to the broom closet for a quickie.

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