September 21, 2019

ASTROLOGY FOR THE WEAK

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CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)
You might not even notice, but you’ll have a profound influence on how and what a lot of people think. Nobody will ever consider wearing plaid and stripes together.

AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)
Don’t be surprised if people line up outside your door for a chance to bend your ear for an hour or two. It’s better than those guys who come by to bend your arms.

PISCES (March 20 – April 18)
The month of December could be packed with surprises, probably romantic ones. Keep that sense of humor and enjoy the thrill. Romance and humor – great combo.

ARIES (April 18 – May 13)
You need to put your foot down. Don’t lose sight of your true destination. There’s more to life than you might see on the surface, like the stuff you put your foot on.

TAURUS (May 13 – June21)
You might be inspired by the example of others who beat the odds to lose excess pounds or overcome personal difficulties. Or, you could mind your own business.

GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)
If a companion unwittingly upsets things for you this month, stay cool, calm and collected instead of your normal slapping the floor like a bratty three-year-old.

CANCER (July 20 – August 10)
It’s in your nature not to want to lift a finger, but for some reason you may be compelled to get up and get moving. Somebody probably yells “fire” in a crowd.

LEO (August 10 – September 16)
With warm and fuzzy planets filling your romance sector, you can have a lot of fun this month. Not sure what makes a planet warm and fuzzy, but just go with it.

VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)
This month, your inner child is going to want to romp. So, keep tabs on all that fun you’re having and how you’re having it. Somebody will have to pay for it later.

LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)
Over the course of the next month expect to see smiling faces that you haven’t seen in a very long while. This may cause you to be suspicious. Check your zipper.

SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)
You should connect with others using your keen wit, strong will, and sheer intelligence this month. Your pets will really be impressed. Others not so much.

OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)
Now seems to be the best time to probe deeply with your penetrating mind and share your incredible insights with others. It sounds a little dirty, but it really isn’t.

SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20
The cosmos encourages you to take a leap of faith if you’ve been considering trying for a new job or expanding your business. But what does the cosmos know?

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