Evolution vs. Intelligent Design
Whether out of boredom, pure cussedness, or faulty genetics, a goodly number of our Doodlebug Island residents allowed themselves to get caught up in the controversy currently entertaining the rest of America–namely evolution vs intelligent design. The furor has died down, and evolution has been restored to its former position as the single best theory available, but not before much wrangling, vituperation and near bloodshed; and strangely, not with the slightest involvement of the theory’s advocates. No, the dust-up appeared to be the work of that small percentage of our population given to the notion the universe cannot operate or…
Cowboy Poets
What with all the ugly things I’ve said about cowboy poets over the years, together with the even worse things I’ve written about their zany poetical flounderings, I thought I had ’em folded, stapled, and mutilated, boxed in from any further mischief, cadged from inflicting any more pain than they already have on a world that has had to put up with their rhymed nonsense and tortured meters. But they’ve rallied recently and seem more determined than ever to defy decency, manners, and good taste in the mistaken belief they are adding something to a world literature of which they…
Horoscopes for September 15-21, 2013
ARIES (March 21 – April 19) You tell your family that you are going to take up repelling. They don’t know repelling from rocks and dismiss your announcement as a continuation of your being repulsive. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) You’ll invent an amazing product called D-Tails that could vastly improve life. Unfortunately, rumors spread that the devil’s in the D-Tails and it fizzles out. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) You will rush across the country when you hear of a discovery of the fountain of youth. You’ll be disappointed to find it is just another concrete peeing boy….
Strangest Ear Rings
Dear Sister, We had a few nice middle-aged ladies round t’other evening for absolutely no reason at all, which I am sure is the very best way for a party to get going, nine of them, and I saw, with a certain amount of pleasure, that they were all wearing earrings. I identified emeralds, rubies, zircon, one imitation diamond, and two ladies with sapphires, which is a stone I hate to write about because of that stupid and unpronounceable extra “p” stuck in there for no sensible reason whatsoever. But I was pleased to see one Tanzanite among them, a…
Horoscopes for September 8-14, 2013
ARIES (March 21 – April 19) You have to choose between the Road Runner and Wiley Coyote. If you could only be one, which one would you be? Yes, you get to keep the ACME gadgets. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) This month you’ll answer the phone to a prankster that says your mate has lost their job and has been cheating on you. Unknowingly, you admit to the same vices. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) You will fake an illness just to get attention. It’ll be remarkably successful. You’ll get attention from the doctor, your boss, your insurance…
Distinctions Without a Difference
The Doodlebug Island Philosophical Society meets once a month in the back room of Dandy-Lee Gifford’s ale house and chic boutique, where the wrangling won’t disturb anybody. The room is large enough to accommodate pugilistic exercises should shouting, swearing, and name-calling prove inadequate. Now, not all meetings end this way, just those at which participants have been frisked and weapons removed. The reader, should he or she be contemplating going out, would be advised to seek other ale houses or boutiques, because the season’s first meeting is tonight at 7:30, and the discussion topic has to do with whether or…
A Fearless Breed of Trained Animals
Sedona Excentric World staff members take a look at the fearless breed of animals trained to find missing children, hidden contraband and criminals on the run. This photograph is of one of those highly trained canines, Boomer, a male bloodhound, working with law enforcement to capture a suspected robber in the area of the Beaver Creek Golf Club. The man allegedly took balls that had been launched into Wet Beaver Creek the water by errant golfers. Witnesses say the disheveled robber appeared to be a vagrant seen wandering the woods nearby. An investigation turned up a mini-camp with a small…
Horoscopes for September 1-7, 2013
ARIES (March 21 – April 19) You will be disappointed this month when you hear that Pluto may not be classified as a planet in the future. First the Easter Bunny, then Santa Claus, now this. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) You will go on one of those food-in-the-mail diets. You’ll lose weight, but will go broke replacing all the items you will break throwing them around your house. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) You will develop the power to see peoples’ auras in September. You will also be confused as to why they always seem to turn to…
