November 20, 2018

Bombarded By Junk . . . By Bishop, Excentric Dumpster Devil

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We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves —-Goethe
All sorts of records are being set these days in sports, in finance, and for endless flatulent political bum fog. However, one record being set this year, as Christmas fades into memories is nothing to be amused at. Each of us will have received almost 560 pieces of junk mail out of 38 billion sent, and an average of 54 catalogues out of 14 billion mailed (an average of 54 per American) and 38 billion pieces of junk mail, and I bet you even receive more! Altogether, that’s 4.5 million tons of junk mail produced last year!

Hold on to your hats, patient reader. Think of 100 million trees ground up each year to create these outputs, the equivalent of deforesting the entire Rocky Mountain Park every four months. Imagine nearly six million tons of paper waste which, in fact, end up in the U.S. municipal solid- waste stream, enough to fill 420,000 garbage trucks. If those trucks were to be parked bumper-to-bumper, they would extend from Santa Fe to Atlanta.

Gloomily, regardless of recycling claims, deception runs amok. Only 32 percent of those tons make it to recycling centers, like Sedona’s prizewinning one. Despite claims to the contrary, 44% of all junk mail is thrown in the trash, unopened and unread. Approximately 40% of the solid mass that makes up our overflowing landfills is paper and paperboard waste. By the year 2015, it is predicted to make up about 48%.
Declares Jill MCcutcheon Executive Director of Sedona’s amazing operation, “Who are these people who think we want all these catalogues. Where did they come from? How did they find us? And why do they decide to buy reams and reams of virgin paper?”

Yes, how do they find us? Not be reading these sacred, pure sheets of Sedona Excentric recycled paper. No indeed. Finding us requires no detective trained by Mr. Holmes. Repeatedly, when we purchase a service or a product our name is added to any number of mailing lists used for high-powered direct marketing.

Whether you are buying a car, or a house, giving money to charity, signing up for a credit card, you name, yes your very name, will quickly find a new home in a computer data base somewhere far away, but still on this planet—I think.

What about those phone calls telling you that your have won a trip to Istanbul, leaving soon. Of course, there will be some papers to sign, indicating that you have “registered to win.” Oops. Your name will soon appear on mail lists used by promoters of myriad other contests. Sweepstakes and lotteries, some real, some created by people who “go bump in the night.”

Are we seemingly helpless against this fusillade of malarkey?

Are we destined to stand knee deep in the growing hills of junk mail until NASA sends space ships of waste paper to Mars?

A tireless effort by as special team of crack investigators hired by the distinguish trustees of this dreadful, but needed highly priced scandal sheet, will soon announce their findings: Big Brother has gone to sleep. There is no there, there! However, wait! What there are out there are WE, WE The People. If we the People speak and actually act rather than texting all day or watching reruns of Seinfeld, the snail mail ogres would be forced to respond.

Is this knee jerk liberal insipid go-go-ism? No, gentle reader, the good news is it in your hands. You can do something about all this! Turn off the screens, blacken Facebook (who wants to know what the neighbor had for dinner and why does she not feel well). Cancel those catalogues and junk mailings and remove yourself from 75% of all national mailings by sending one request with your name, address and signature to Mail Preference Service, Direct Marketing Association, P.O. Box 643, Carmel, NY 10512 or download the online dmaconsumers.org/cgi/offmailing.

You can also call the catalogue companies and ask to be removed from their mailing list, then recycle the catalogues. Call 888-567-8688 to get off the lists of all major credit bureaus. You can also do this online at www.optoutprescreen.com. Then, remove your name from major nationwide sweepstakes mailers, contact: Publishers Clearinghouse, 101 Channel Drive, Port Washington, NY 11050 Phone: (800) 645-9242;and Readers Digest, Readers Digest Road, Pleasantville, NY 10570 Phone: (800) 234-9000; and American Family Publishers, PO Box 62000, Tampa, FL 33662 Phone: (800) 237-2400.

Of course, you may make recycling a habit enjoyed by the entire family. More and more folks are doing that, heading us to a world where there will be no such thing as waste.

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