November 28, 2022

Legal Matters, But So Do Brains


The following 20 questions were asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and in certain cases the responses given by the insightful witnesses as reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association lawyers Journal.

1) “Now Dr., isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”

2) “The youngest son, the 20-year-old, hold is he?”

3) “Were you present when your picture was taken?”

4) “Were you alone or by yourself?”

5) “Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?”

6) “Did he kill you?”

7) “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

8) “You were there ’til you left, is that true?”

9) “How many times have you committed suicide?”

10) Q: “So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “And what were you doing at that time?”

11) Q: “She had three children, right?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “How many were boys?”
A: “None.”
Q: “Were there any girls?”

12) Q: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”

13) Q: “Mr. Slatery, you went on an elaborate honeymoon didn’t you?”
A: “I went to Europe, sir.”
Q: “And you took your new wife?”

14) Q: “Can you describe the individual?”
A: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Q: “Was this a male or female?”

15) Q: “How was your first marriage terminated?”
A: “By death.”
Q: “And by whose death was a terminated?”

16) Q: “Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
A: “No, this is how I dress when I go to work.”

17) Q: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you personal performed on dead people?”
A: “All my autopsies are performed on dead people.”

18) Q: “All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?”
A: “Oral.”

19) Q: “You were shot in the fracas?”
A: “No, I wish up midway between the fracas and the navel.”

20) Q: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
A: “No.”
Q: “How can you be sure, doctor?”

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