July 3, 2022

Sedona Alien Party Cancelled


…Vortexes had to be closed for remodeling.

…Confusion between followers of a harmonic convergence and supporters of a harmonica emergence.

…Date lost when calendar destroyed after discovering pictures of half-naked, out-of-work, pensionless, Mayan
priests promoting each month.

…Aliens expected to attend had to return home to retrieve forgotten chips and dip.

…Extraterrestrials objected to souvenir t-shirts with slogan, “Have You Been Probed Today?”

…Party threatened to be crashed by gang that dashes from psychic to psychic, called “Channel Surfers.”

…Jean Vixen’s prediction of a mass exodus.

…The only vendor able to attend sells Indian Tacos and everyone knows Aliens are allergic to fry bread.

…The last party resulted in all the garage doors in Sedona opening simultaneously.

…Shirley MacLaine couldn’t find a date.

…City won’t issue event permit due to noise ordinance.

…Hospitality industry complains that every time Aliens party, they leave a mess and their imaginary friends skip on
the bill.

…Lack of affordable housing!

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