Retiring in Sedona
- You are asked to sign a “hold harmless” agreement before Boy Scouts help you cross the street.
- You pimped-out your golf cart with training wheels.
- Instead of “air guitar” you show off with “air harp.”
- You have to quit your arts and crafts class because the glue and paint are making you dizzy.
- Your idea of Trail Mix is a mixture of soy nuts, Tums, aspirin and dried prunes.
- You consult your psychic about removing one of your kidneys in hopes that you’ll have to pee less often.
- Hanging around a vortex seems to make your “senior moment” last for days.
- You no longer get upset when you get asked to your grandchildren’s classroom on dinosaur day.
- You start taking Yin-Yang-Huo after you’re told you were a horny old goat in a past life.
- Memory loss has you keeping your television remote in a shoulder holster.
- You wear more clothes with pockets when attending the Chinese all-you-can-eat buffets.
- At Bible study, small children ask you to authenticate events. You start wondering if you might have actually been there.
