Doug “Rabbit” Sutherland, Minister of Reality
GLUTEN DEPENDENCY
I’ve taken up the mantle in
Defense of noble wheat
Which, at the hands of gluten, may
Face ultimate defeat!
Although I’ve suffered bloating and
Fatigue and canker sores,
Joint pain and diarrhea and
Bad dreams and gagging snores
And changes in behavior and
Small fractures of my head
And bulky stools and rashes when
I glimpse a crumb of bread,
And know that these are symptoms in
“The Celiac Checklist
Of Glutenesque Intolerance,”
But, still, I must resist,
For in my fluffy, rising soul
I am a gluten fan,
Intolerant of muffins that
Lay dead upon the pan!
