November 28, 2023

Asian Form of Sasquatch


Q: I recently read where villagers in Shennongjia, Hubei Province in China have been wondering about the presence of a Bigfoot ever since a man named Ding Fei, 33, found mysterious thick curly hairs with transparent roots at a location called Swallow Hole on a local mountain. Is it possible an Asian form of Sasquatch exists?

A: It’s possible. I presume an Asian Bigfoot would wear about a size 7.

Q: I saw an article about a Bosnian man whose house has been hit six times by meteorites claims aliens are targeting him. The white-hot rocks have hammered a man’s house repeatedly since 2007, forcing him to reinforce the roof of his home with a steel girder. Experts at Belgrade University have confirmed that all the rocks he has produced are meteorites, but the homeowner believes their trajectory is no accident, claiming, “I am obviously being targeted by aliens. I don’t know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense.” Could he be the target of some alien gang?

A: I doubt it. However, the homeowner possibly is flying colors that are in territorial opposition to a group of gentrified aliens.

Q: A friend told me she wanted to do some ghost hunting in Massachusetts. She found a site that promoted some bed and breakfasts that claimed to be haunted. She visited the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast, the Colonial Inn, the Village Green Inn, and her favorite, the Jared Coffin House on Nantucket which boasts frequent visits from a ghost in a rocking chair. Are there places like this in Sedona?

A: Only one of the world’s most famous. Well, actually it’s in Jerome–The Jerome Grand Hotel, once a mining town hospital treating gunshots, opium overdoses and mining accidents. There would probably be fewer ethereal visitations had the prostitutes not been mistreated.

Q: Sedona should look to India to reduce traffic accidents. Traffic officers near Mumbai, have agreed to allow small pyramids to be placed at 10 accident-prone sites in the city to see if their claimed positive energy can reduce crashes. They believe accidents are caused by negative energy and the pyramids will alter the life force. Could Sedona use these instead of installing 96 street lights along SR 89A?

A: Only if they have 25′ poles with dark sky beacons attached to the top.


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