November 29, 2022

INSIDE THE NEWS by David Fidelman


WORD FOR WORD NEWS:  A Kansas man charged with first-degree murder is afraid the tattooed mirror-image letters spelling out the word “murder” across his neck might prejudice a jury, so he is asking for a professional tattoo artist to remove or cover it up. A tattoo artist was able to remove the tattoo and replace it with the words, “I Did It.”

REALLY DAFFY NEWS: A woman visiting her mother in Oregon is suing her neighbor, seeking $275,000 for pain, suffering and other damages she says were inflicted when a pet duck ambushed her for no apparent reason. In her attempt to get away, the woman fell to the ground, breaking her right wrist and spraining an elbow and shoulder, resulting in $25,000 in medical expenses. The complaint accuses the bird’s owner of failing to maintain control of her pet. The neighbor claims the woman, a retired nurse, made offensive faces directed toward the duck and kept shouting, “Aflac, my ass.”

NO SO DIRTY DANCING NEWS: A  student at Cherryville High School in North Carolina was asked to leave her prom recently. The school held its prom at the Cherryville Golf & Country Club. e student and friends went inside and got on the dance floor. The high school senior says that a teacher then approached her and asked her to leave, telling her it was because she was wearing pants. While the school codes have no regulations about prom attire, they do profess to celebrate diversity. Next, girls will be expelled for wearing skirts or dresses and not shaving their legs.

BY THE SLICE NEWS: An Australian chef competed against more than 600 chefs hailing from 35 countries for the noted prize of recognition as Best Pizza recently at the Pizza World Championship in Naples, Italy.  The ingredients chefs can use are limited to basil leaves, garlic, olive oil, mozzarella, salt and tomatoes. The winner offered valuable pie-making secrets: Start with high quality dough, Use quality ingredients and Cook properly. Delizioso! Chow, baby!


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