The Cat and the Cabbie…
We were dressed and ready to go out for a party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes on out to the…
Gun-toting Grandma
Drivers over 65 are more likely to get into crashes. American communities are instituting programs to address the crash rate of senior drivers. But, do you think in Sedona with its inner quest awareness center specializing in bio-kinesiology reframing (I don’t make this stuff up, I report it), that have people who call themselves head estheticians and use tantra to “birth everything from dreams to releasing karmic loads” would follow suit? That’s a rhetorical question. No siree! In the cloud-cuckoo-land called Sedona, we not only put seniors on the road, but also encourage them to join a program that aims…
Go Green . . . Bring Back the Clothesline
You may have to be a “certain age” to appreciate this article. But you younger ones can read about “The good ol’ days”! (If you don’t even know what clotheslines are, then better skip this.) Many Boomers can hear their mothers still as she explained how to hang the wash. You had to hang the socks by the toes…not the top. You hung pants by the bottoms/cuffs…not the waistbands. And all clothes had to be turned inside out just because a bird might fly overhead and you didn’t want that showing. I didn’t want that next to my skin, but…
An Editorial from Excentric World
For more than 24 years, this paper has never used its position in the community to pontificate on any serious topic except to satirize it or hide it within the satire. Today, I make an exception due to the anger pervading in our country over the slaughter of innocents versus the individual rights defined in the 1st and 2nd Amendments to the Constitution of the United States. The initiative to draft papers representing a Union began when the Federal Convention convened in the State House (Independence Hall) in Philadelphia on May 14, 1787 to revise the Articles of Confederation. By…
Tips From the Redneck Book Of Manners . . .
1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. Dining Out 1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. 2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as…
They’re Back . . .
Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite! Our Excentric Investigative Staff takes a look at the possible consequences of sleeping on someone else’s bed sheets. Take this woman, for example. She was on vacation for the first time in more than a dozen years. While staying in a hostel in Russia during the Olympics, she experienced a bunch of little pricks on her arms and back throughout the night. The bites were so severe that she required emergency care at a hospital. when asked about the conditions of some of the accommodations available during the recent Winter Olympics, acting president of…
