ASTROLOGY FOR THE WEAK
CAPRICORN (January 19 – February 16)
When it comes to love, you are letting your brain do too much of the driving. You could let your heart take the wheel, but, sadly, it only has a learner’s permit.
AQUARIUS (February 16 – March 11)
You will be emotionally damaged and even require special attention when you finally look a gift horse in the mouth and the gift horse proceeds to bite your face.
PISCES (March 20 – April 18)
This month, you will experience conflict when Uranus enters some kind of retrograde usually devoted to Mercury. Whatever you do, avoid all slip ‘n’ slides.
ARIES (April 18 – May 13)
You may feel smothered by certain individuals who hang on you like barnacles on a ship. Time to scrape your emotional hull. Then just to rock the boat, baby.
TAURUS (May 13 – June21)
Relationships could become a lot more passionate when Mars jogs into Scorpio. Unfortunately, Mars is wearing golfing shoes and spikes Scorpio’s love bunkers.
GEMINI (June 21 – July 20)
You may scare people with your dramatic, emotional outbursts. The smallest things might set you off on a crazy tirade. You think you know someone – then…
CANCER (July 20 – August 10)
This can be a great time to showcase your abilities or advertise your goods and services. So, go for. Go out and buy that pole and install it in your family room.
LEO (August 10 – September 16)
You should say the things you must to people who need to hear them. Even though the words are “I’m sorry. It was all my fault. And it will never happen again.”
VIRGO (September 16 – October 30)
You’ll reveal a streak of the oddball in you, wearing plaid pants, a polka dot shirt and an orange cap in public. People will think you are a pimp or a pro golfer.
LIBRA (October 30 – November 23)
This month, people you love will insist on setting off sparks and starting a fire. You will take them aside and offer them marshmallows. S’more to follow.
SCORPIO (November 23 – November 29)
The stars say you should be honest when someone comes to you with a question or situation that he or she needs help with – unless they ask you about their anatomy.
OPHIUCHUS (November 29 – December 17)
Let someone else be the guinea pig so you’ll have all the information you need to make the most prudent decision on how to proceed. Then back away slowly.
SAGITTARIUS (December 17 – January 20
Now may be the time when you may want to be the fish swimming upstream while the school heads downstream. Just remember what you are swimming through.
