April 26, 2018

Cottonwood to Buy Salt River Project

According to a confidential Excentric source that will heretofore be referred to only as “Big Gulp,” the City of Cottonwood has launched a hostile takeover bid for the water and power giant, Salt River Project. According to Big Gulp, it is only the tip of the iceberg as far as what Cottonwood has in mind for the future. Did we say iceberg? Yes! “We want it all,” said Big Gulp, “Lake Powell, Lake Mead, Lake Michigan and the polar icecap. We are sick and tired of being kicked around by those water junkies down in Maricopa County and now we…