July 7, 2020

They’re Back . . .


Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite!

Our Excentric Investigative Staff takes a look at the possible consequences of sleeping on someone else’s bed sheets. Take this woman, for example. She was on vacation for the first time in more than a dozen years. While staying in a hostel in Russia during the Olympics, she experienced a bunch of little pricks on her arms and back throughout the night. The bites were so severe that she required emergency care at a hospital. when asked about the conditions of some of the accommodations available during the recent Winter Olympics, acting president of Russia, Vladimir Putin, denied that any such bugs existed in his country. Putin, admired by Sarah Palin for his exposed chest and manly pants, insisted that any bugs discovered in his country were brought in by foreigners. According to Mr. Putin the only bugs originating in Russia were of the audiological nature and intended for spying. “To date, no Russian bugs have been reportedly physically bitten anyone.”

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