March 22, 2018

Outdoor Theater to Be Built


Pictured is yet another example of successful concrete dome amphitheaters. This one is the bronze casting building at Paolo Soleri’s famed Arcosanti, an experimental town  that began construction in 1970 in central Arizona, 70 miles north of Phoenix. Soleri started the town to demonstrate how urban conditions could be improved while minimizing the destructive impact on the earth. Sir William is said to be handing the task of painting the inside the dome to his friend Jodi Florman, the woman who designed his editor’s CD covers. Word on the street is her faux painting would mirror that of Michelangelo himself. Of course, even Cornville won’t allow naked people on the ceiling.

by Blodwyn Smythe,
Cement Dome Reporter

SEDONA, AZ:  While lunching with Bob Colony, Sedona’s silversmith, Christy Yazzi, Sedona’s esthetician, Reverend Joel Boyd, Sedona’s minister of marriage, and Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric at the Mesa Grill atop Airport Road across from Sky Ranch Lodge, the topic of his latest endeavor came up. Sharing his green chili fries, Sir William disclosed his plans to build an outdoor performance theater to accompany his shopping mall off Cornville Road, across from Verde Santa Fe Golf Course.

“Wow, this is the first I’ve heard of this,” the Rev commented. “Can I do weddings out there?”

“Of course,” Sir William sputtered, some of the fries flying out of his mouth. “The theater will be open for public use. There can be weddings, music concerts, theater troupes, poetry readings, you name it.”

Sir William showed the group an artists sketch of the proposed amphitheater. “This is what I aim to build. The design will project the sound unplugged to the audience below, covered by the lid, yet contain electric vocals and instrumentation.”

Bob smiled. “Aren’t you worried that some government official might find this ugly and think it looks like the audience is looking into a clam shell?”

“I hadn’t considered that. I would think that politicians would be big enough to keep their personal responses to themselves, especially since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I mean, what if we voted for officials based on their appearances. I doubt anyone not from Hollywood would ever get elected. Have you been to any meetings with local officials? There is not a pretty person among them. And as far as the clam shell distinction, I would bet that person’s experience with clams is limited to the chowder from Sizzlers.

“Anyone with knowledge of clams know they come in myriad shapes and sizes. There are actually 2,000 varieties of clams. Perhaps this politico has a personal identification with a particular clam and was referring to the Little Neck. Who knows?”

Christy, politely refusing the fries, instead going for the veggie burger, chimed in, “What about this mall?”

“The mall is a secondary project,” Sir William confessed. “Yeah, it’s going to be big enough to support an indoor roller coaster, but the main project is the World Famous Cornville Dome Amphitheater. People will come from around the world to catch some local musicians pouring out their hearts and souls in the area’s only world-class outdoor arena.”

“What about the skepticism some have about the soundness of the structure itself,” Bob asked, reaching for some more fries.

Sir William smiled. “As with any of my projects, there is a possibility of delays due to structural issues. That’s why I have insurance. I have had my staff take a good, long look at this, and they have given me their assurances that we should proceed. I trust my staff and am going with their recommendations. There just needs to be a quality gathering place for people to congregate and have a sense of neighborhood and comradery that doesn’t involve sports or politics.”

Bob had a follow up question. “There seem to be an awfully large group of people who admittedly have no background or knowledge of a project of this magnitude that are offering alleged professional opinions. How do you stop them?”

Above is a photo of one of the concrete dome amphitheaters. This one is the Waikiki Shell on Honolulu, Hawaii.

Above is a photo of one of the concrete dome amphitheaters. This one is the Waikiki Shell on Honolulu, Hawaii.

“I choose to ignore them, Bob. When someone prefaces their opinion with, ‘I don’t know anything about,’ I try to stop them and tell them I accept their opening salvo. There are only a handful of people who know how to build these domes. I hired one.”

“Why now?” asked Reverend Joel.

“Well, Joel, I am putting the finishing touches with my team of experts from Gimme Social Media, Greg and Holly, on my brand new global website, I have also finished backing my editor’s desire to record his 2nd CD, “Love Isn’t Always” with a group of local musicians (Eric Williams, Troy Perkins, Ron James, Courtney Yeates, Jeanie Carroll, Shondra Jepperson and Susannah Martin, with the guitar stylings of Eddie Berman from North Carolina) at the studios of Gregg Tauriello and Kenny Star.

“And even as we speak, Jack Hillman is busy working on my editor’s musical website, I finally have a little time on my hands, so I decided to construct a mall and a dome amphitheater.”

“Are you going to any municipal leaders in the area for permits, inspections or advice,” asked Reverend Joel with a funny eating grin on his face.

“Joel, you know that I will pursue every legal permit necessary to build this. But, unlike similar cases, I refuse to allow individual personal preferences of what my project should look like or what type of mollusk some politico may reference it as or allow someone to demean my staff in public or otherwise present themselves as a jackass while accessing my project.

“Politicians often want to have a namesake. I understand that they work at a thankless job, for little pay in hopes of further political aspirations while having someone name something after them. I will name the restrooms after any politician who wants their name on a wall. After all, it would be better to have your name scrawled on the outside of the bathroom wall, than on the inside.”

Sir William gestured and ascended into his waiting limousine.

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