September 21, 2018

CORNVILLE TO ANNEX SEDONA

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Pictured is a map showing the proximity from Cornville to Sedona. Cornville, already labeled “The Gateway To Sedona,” has often been the butt of jokes from residents from the surrounding area – even Rimrock, where the only travel comment left on any website from a visitor was “I once drove through Rimrock.” The jokes referencing Cornville even include how it was named. The story goes: A man named Cohen called the registrar’s office in Washington, D.C. and spoke with a woman from the deep south who repeated the name back to him – Cohenville, or so he thought it would be spelled.

 

by Blodwyn Smythe,
Cartography Reporter

SEDONA: A horde of reporters, fans and passerby gathered at a hastily called press conference on Yavapai Drive in Sedona filling the gap from Oak Creek Brewery and Canyon Automotive to hear Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric, reveal the details of the annexation  of Sedona by Cornville and dispel all the rumors and innuendos.

Sir William arrived and took center stage. “I have hastily called this press conference to reveal the details of the annexation of Sedona by Cornville and dispel all the rumors and innuendos.

“Firstly, it was a 6 to 1 vote by the Cornville Ad hoc Committee Considering Annexation (CACCA). The one dissenting vote claimed it was not in Cornville’s best interest, that Cornvillains were doing just fine with the status quo, with no incorporation, no government to speak of beyond CACCA and the group Cornvillains Repulsed by Unpropitious Development or (CRUD). He went on to add that Sedona’s unsolvable problems would be inherited by Cornville.”

“Why would you dedicate so much front page space to the dissenting vote,” asked a reporter from Sedona’s small, other paper.
Sir William grinned, “He made a lot of sense. He explained how hard it would be to get up a game of 3 ball and roll bones for a drink.”
“Aren’t those forms of illegal gambling,” pressed the reporter.”

“That’s a typical response from someone from Sedona,” snapped someone from the crowd.

Sir William raised his arms. “Now, now, let’s all play nice. Everyone knows that Cornvillains just like to put on a little pretense for out of state visitors who learned about Cornville from a neighboring city. It’s all in good fun.”

“Evidently, there was a majority from CACCA voting in favor of annexation. Would you care to comment on their account,” asked some reporter from a local magazine.

“Well, while they were a majority of CACCA members, it is a volunteer committee that had to bribe four members to volunteer after six years of only three people meeting once a year. So, the way I see it, it was a 2 to 1 vote of the original membership, and I believe one of them recently bought property in Sedona with plans to move there. That makes it a statistical tie.”

“But why would Cornville want to add Sedona to its list of issues,” asked some guy.

Sir William took a hefty swig from a pint of Oak Creek Nut Brown Ale. “Who knows? Maybe they want to have a say-so in the decision making of the plans for the property across from the sewerage ponds. It seems Sedona has a committee preparing to make recommendations to their council as to the best usage of the vacant 200 acres.

“Word on the street is that it could be a better than terrific spot to collect recyclables, build affordable housing, add a BMX bike track and stadium, include a driving range and batting cages, and all sorts of other goodies to draw families to the area and convince them to stay over the summer months.

“Beyond that, Sedona has red rocks and vortexes and arts and crafts shows, Cornville might like to add those amenities to its repertoire. Add those things to the cool stuff that can come from the area where they sprayed Sedona’s liquid leftovers and suddenly Cornville becomes far more than just the Gateway To Sedona.”

“So, would Cornville change its name, especially after the original fiasco,” asked some other guy.

“I’m not so sure I’d believe in the name screw-up story, if I were you,” Sir William answered. “Have you looked into the names of some of the other cities in Arizona? How about Ajo (meaning garlic), Bagdad, Monkey’s Eyebrow, Total Wreck, and let’s not forget Why. Cornville hardly seems odd considering Bumblebee, Goobertown, Santa Claus and Nothing are also Arizona names. But I digress.

“It is doubtful there would be a change of name. The name Sedona is easily explained and noteworthy. Cornville is what it is.”

“What is 3 ball,” asked a curious passerby from Michigan.

The dissenting vote from CACCA chimed in, “Three ball is a pool game where a wager is placed on the table and three balls are racked in a triangular position. The player who sinks his grouping in the fewest number of shots wins the pot. It’s also a way to get more pool time out of the fifty cents.”

Sir William finished the explanation, “I couldn’t have said it better, except if you are from Liquor Control, it’s all just for fun.”
With that, Sir William gestured to the crowd and ascended into his waiting limousine.

 

Above is a phot of Red Rock Crossing...while the rocks are in Sedona, the shot was taken from the Village, south of Sedona.

Above is a phot of Red Rock Crossing…while the rocks are in Sedona, the shot was taken from the Village of Oak Creek, south of Sedona.

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