January 18, 2018

EDITOR: CLINTON IS RUNNING

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Pictured is Ms. Hillary Clinton. To date, she is the only American to serve both as U.S. Senator and the U.S. Secretary of State. Add to that, she also was First Lady for eight years, and the only first lady to serve the senate. While many people, mostly democrats, are clamoring for her to run for president, others, mostly republicans, are wishing she would simply retire. Polls show that compared to every potential republican running for president, Hillary Clinton would win handily. The more serious question is what would become of Joe Biden – the only politician that got it right about Iraq – separate states.

 

by Blodwyn Smythe,
Political Punting Reporter

SEDONA: A horde of reporters, onlookers and fans of Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric, gathered at the lot of Sedona Recycles, Inc (SRI) to hear Sir William reveal the truth behind the rumors of Clinton running.
Sir William stepped up to the microphone to address the crowd, “I have gathered some of you here to reveal the truth behind the rumors of Clinton running.”

Just then, a convoy of black SUVs pulled between Sir William’s podium and the crowd, blocking everyone’s view of the popular paper magnate. The vehicles pulled out as mysteriously as they had arrived. Sir William was still at the podium, but now flanked by people in black suits with Ray Ban sunglasses and those wristwatches they talk into.

Sir William seemed dumbfounded while the crowd talked amongst themselves. People were overheard saying they hoped that the former First Lady, New York Senator and Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton was indeed running for the office of president in 2016.

One woman in the crowd, who asked not to be identified, said that she had a gut feeling that the wife of former United States President, William Jefferson Clinton, was going to be a candidate for president, and that she intended on voting for her and that she was going to win.

“It’s time we had a female president,” she said. “Many civilized countries around the world are led by women. Why not these United States? It’s high time we evolved to be governed by women.”

A person nearby who overheard the conversation chimed in. “I may not be a woman, but having been married for twenty-seven blissful years, I can tell you that I believe the country couldn’t be in worse shape if a woman were in charge, unless, of course Congress decided to continue their gridlock. I could see that happening. If they couldn’t bear to see a black man succeed in the highest office, how would they react to a woman in charge.”

Another in the crowd spoke up, “I don’t think the sex of the President would matter. the two parties are so polarized they will never do the bidding of the people. They only serve their masters – the money.”

By now a number of people had formed a circle and created a debate group. Most seemed to support a woman running for president, though some from that group didn’t back Hillary Clinton. They were in favor of Massachusetts Senator, Elizabeth Warren becoming a candidate. A few, mostly male, supported neither and felt the job was better suited for a man.

One man offered his unsolicited opinion, “After all, men don’t have the burden of bearing children, having a menstrual cycle or going through menopause later in life.”

“What about Margaret Thatcher,” asked a woman from the circle.

“The Iron Lady?” piped up someone from outside the circle. “The woman who singlehandedly dismantled the British unions, attacked the Falklands and tried to reinstate poll taxes? Conservative Americans would vote for her in a heartless beat.”

As the debate circle began to expand, people seemed anxious to participate. A man with an Obama baseball cap piped up, “Fir st of all – our President is not a black man. He lists himself on the census as black because there isn’t a block to check that denotes mixed race. Much like Ted Cruz, the Senator from Texas, his father and mother were from differing ethnic backgrounds. Since Ted Cruz’s dad was Cuban, I assume he checked the census as Hispanic – the first Hispanic United States Senator elected in Texas in more than one hundred years.”

“Wow,” exclaimed one of the Clinton supporters. “The Tea Party darling is Hispanic? Who wudda thunk that?”

As if on cue, someone in a ‘Dan Quayle For Congress’ t-shirt reminded the crowd, “Hell, Bobby Jindal’s parents are immigrants from India and he was elected governor of Louisiana and, like Cruz, is suspected of running for president in 2016. Should be an interesting lot, at least on the republican side.”

“Testing, one, two.” Sir William was again on the microphone. “Sorry for the delay – technical difficulties. Back to the business at hand. I know most of you are curious about the headline this month. After consulting with security, I am free to inform you that indeed, Clinton is running. Former President Bill Clinton is running again, after being sidelined due to health issues. I, and my newly appointed escorts, wanted to be the first to break the wonderful news.”

With that Sir William gestured to the crowd and ascended into his waiting, guarded limousine.

Texas Senator Tex Cruz, a transplant from Canada, born in '57 to a Cuban refugee and  American Anglo mother. Sound familiar? One has to wonder of 'The Donald' will ask him for a copy of his birth certificate.

Texas Senator Tex Cruz, a transplant from Canada, born in ’57 to a Cuban refugee and American Anglo mother. Sound familiar? One has to wonder of ‘The Donald’ will ask him for a copy of his birth certificate.

 

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