If Coffeepot Rock sees its shadow, do we have to switch from mocha lattes to iced cappuccinos? Can I use my Red Rock Pass to park anywhere and what if someone is in my space? If there is a Snoopy Rock, why isn’t there a Charlie Brown Rock and Lucy Rock? Who made Snoopy Rock, anyway? Where do all the people who work at A Day In The West go at night? Does everyone who lives in Cornville have to grow corn? Where is the mountain with the Indian Presidents’ faces on it? How come every time I visit a…

You request the staff room be equipped with a valium salt lick. You want to slap people you overhear saying, “It must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.” You believe chocolate is a food group. You want a “Shallow Gene Pool” box added to report cards, but realize as far as you’ll get is “Not Quite As Gifted As Others.” All personal life between August and June is a blur. You think calling you by your first name should be reserved for adults only, if that’s okay with the kids and their parents. You have…

Q: I read about a new robotic submarine being developed by NASA to explore the oceans of one of Jupiter’s moons. This submarine is on test at the moment in a lake in Texas. Finding life elsewhere in the solar system would be a vital bolster to the Panspermia theory, the theory that intelligent life came from another planet or solar system. Do you think they’ll find intelligent life on Jupiter? A: Who knows? I’m amazed they found intelligent life in Texas. Q: My brother told me about a man who was contracted by the Department of Natural Resources to…

Sedona! Amusing things can happen here; never, ever doubt it! Like this one occasion here– Let me tell you all about it: T’other day, for heaven’s sake, I got myself arrested– Yep, that’s a fact that’s been quite well tested. I was approached by this large and very beefy cop Who claimed I’d ignored his signal for me to stop. I got the impression he thought I’d been drinking, With no reason at all for that kind of thinking. But a real drunk who’d just come out from a nearby bar Drove off– and hit that corpulent cop’s own car!…

cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner. “Never sign a valentine with your own name.” — Charles Dickens “‘The whole world loves a lover’ is an interesting theory, but a very bad legal defense.” — Keith Sullivan “Platonic love is like an inactive volcano.” — Andre Pevost “I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate–but looking for her is much…

Valentine’s Day: Healing your Heart Art Workshop: Wednesday, February 13th, from 6pm 7:30pm at Verde Valley Community Hospice, 859 Cove parkway#103, Cottonwood, AZ 86326. For more information: 928-592-2992. Free admission. This event is open for those who lost a loved one. You may bring a picture of your loved one when attending this art workshop. You are not alone on this journey because we are here for you! Come meet with others who also share the same experience and create your own peer support! Vittles, Vines & Valentines Special: Feb 13 thru 16. Looking to surprise your sweetheart with something…

This month’s typical Excentric Reader is Rita Rusch, taken while she was visiting the Lowell Observatory in nearby Flagstaff. Rita was reading her favorite “earthly entertainment” waiting for the gates to open to sky watchers to observe the world beyond. We found it puzzling that Rita’s face was slightly out of focus from the rest of the picture. Usually, we are to blame. Since she was so near the location to communicate with other worlds, we believe she may have made contact and was protecting her identity.   Related posts: Typical Excentric Reader Typical Excentric Reader… Typical Excentric Reader Typical…

The Humane Society of Sedona, has all kinds of cats and kittens. Socks Kitty is nearly 6 years old, so he’s past his high energy and hi-jinx days. He has mellowed out into a young adult with a very sweet disposition. Socks Kitty is a silver tabby cat with lots of white. He may have come to the Humane Society as a stray, but he is obviously from a good home and is used to people, being brushed and getting petted. If you’re looking for a calm cat to be your new best friend, come to the Humane Society of Sedona and ask to meet Socks Kitty. Just realize, if…

Oak Creek  Brewery 928-204-1300 2050 Yavapai Dr., Sedona, AZ www.oakcreekbrew.com Feb  1 – Cactus Daddy starts at 8pm Feb  2 – Tyrell Sweeten 4-7pm Feb   2 – Open Mic starts at 8pm Feb   3 – Ray Gomez 4-7pm Feb  8 – Decker starts at 8pm Feb   9 – Paul T. Morris 4-7pm Feb   9 – Open Mic starts at 8pm Feb 10 – Bat 4-7pm Feb 15 – Sweeten Element starts at 8pm Feb 16 – Ray Reeves 4-7pm Feb 16 – Open Mic starts at 8pm Feb 17 – Kenzo 4-7pm Feb 22 – LIVE MUSIC starts at 8pm…

Sedona Excentric World staff members take a look back at roundabouts and the benefits they added to controlling traffic during peak seasons in and around and around Sedona. After deciding not to force their cookie-cutter four-lane highway on the residents of Sedona and the Village of Oak Creek (the “other Sedona” to unsuspecting visitors), Arizona Department of Transportation engineers decided what the area needed was roundabouts–and lots of them. Roundabouts are not new tp traffic schemes. In fact, they are strewn throughout Europe, Asia and the eastern United States. As one can easily ascertain from this picture, they definitely make getting…

I’m a fairly seasoned world traveler. One place I’ve wandered extensively is Australia. Experienced travelers often refer to the land down under as OZ, which allows me to segue to the Arizona wine roads and bring you the tale of another small Arizona family winery. I make the literary and travel reference because my subject this month has a strong Australian connection. It’s Kief-Joshua Vineyards and their winemaker Kief Manning, who is one of the few people in the state of Arizona to have an advanced degree in viticulture and enology. Kief-Joshua Vineyards, like most Arizona wineries, is definitely a…

…Vortexes had to be closed for remodeling. …Confusion between followers of a harmonic convergence and supporters of a harmonica emergence. …Date lost when calendar destroyed after discovering pictures of half-naked, out-of-work, pensionless, Mayan priests promoting each month. …Aliens expected to attend had to return home to retrieve forgotten chips and dip. …Extraterrestrials objected to souvenir t-shirts with slogan, “Have You Been Probed Today?” …Party threatened to be crashed by gang that dashes from psychic to psychic, called “Channel Surfers.” …Jean Vixen’s prediction of a mass exodus. …The only vendor able to attend sells Indian Tacos and everyone knows Aliens are…

I love you.” –English “Te amo.” –Spanish “Je t’aime.” –French “Ich liebe dich.” –German “Ai shite imasu.” –Japanese “Ti amo.” –Italian “Wo ai ni.” –Chinese “Jag Alskar.” –Swedish “Nice butt. Get in the truck.” —Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Idaho, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, Louisiana, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, Florida and Cornville, USA   Related posts: Men Love to Gossip Love for Valentines Changing the Name of Cornville? Booms Rattle a Country?

Your golf cart is street legal and can outpace most cars. You can pay by check or credit card for window washing. Meals-On-Wheels is the name of a pizza delivery business. Your yard is fenced and separated according to species. You have an abundance of unused Tupperware lids because the bottoms are scattered through the house collecting drips. You have to borrow money from a distant relative to shop at the dollar store. Your personal experience qualifies you as a licensed midwife. You have a vast collection of Barbie Dolls without heads. You decorate everything in your yard during all…

Shattered. Splattered. Scattered. Battered. Tattered. Skewered and Plattered. Barely mattered. That was the Democrats after November’s election. But surely in the months since, they’d come together to stand aligned in the face of the flaky imperiousness of our so- called President. You’d think. And ripe bananas make a fine masonry grout. The Democrats have lost their direction so completely they need a compass to wipe their butts. Incontestably, incontrovertibly and incredibly… useless. We are not speaking of a trifling of uselessness here. “Totally and utterly and unconditionally useless”- barely scratches the surface. The exact extent of the uselessosity exhibited by…

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidotes known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to…

Sedona Excentric World looks at the recent surge in H1N1 (swine) flu cases in the United States. After an exhaustive search, Excentric Science staff members believe they have found the source of the mutant virus. The symptoms are similar to classic influenzas: fever, diarrhea, vomiting, muscle aches, headaches. The biggest difference is waking up, looking into the mirror and seeing yourself as the image depicted left. The little guy in this picture was once a robust, 300-lb professional wrestler, El Hombre Rojo, who, from passing automobile windows, could be seen in the fields of the Sewerage Reclamation Plant on SR…

Sedona Excentric World looks at the recent crackdown on immigration at the Arizona border. Complaints about racial profiling by the Maricopa County Sheriff’s office under the supervision of Joe Arpaio, have resulted in human smuggling coyotes embracing newer and more clever techniques to successfully transport illegal aliens into the United States. While most immigrants come here in search of a better life or to escape persecution in their own country, the few that break U.S. laws, besides entering without permission, leave a stain on the remaining many millions of non-union laborers. There was a time when temporary migratory workers were…

This month’s typical Excentric Reader is Preston Boyd, son of Joel, grandson to Rachel and friend to the Sedona Excentric. Preston stopped to gather some much needed energy and knowledge always found in the pages of his favorite publication, the Sedona Excentric, of course. He is photographed at Glacier National Park while on a hiking trip with his father, Joel, son to Rachel and friend to the Sedona Excentric. Note: Those are clouds atop the mountains and not smoke from active volcanoes. Phew! Related posts: Typical Excentric Reader Typical Excentric Reader . . . Typical Excentric Reader . . ….

As the Sedona Excentric approaches its 25th anniversary in 2013, the Sedona Excentric Really Big Story staff take a close look at bucket lists. Based on the movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, people have been confessing to our staff members their desires to accomplish feats before they kick the bucket. Some expressed a hope to visit an exotic place–mostly India, Peru or Cornville, AZ. There were many who wanted to sample some sort of out-of-the-norm type of food, such as octopus, scorpion or mystery meat from a school cafeteria. Typically, most people were seeking adventures. African safaris were…