September 19, 2018

  • Green Wave on the Horizon? . . . by James Bishop, Jr.

    “The wind that blows is all anybody knows.” — Henry David Thoreau In the Hopi American Indian language, Koyaanisqatsi translates as: a crazy Life, life in turmoil, life disintegrating, life out of balance and a state of life that calls for another way of living. In one of the Hopi prophesies about Koyaanisqatsi, it is said that if we “dig precious things from the land, it will invite disaster and near the day of purification, there will be cobwebs spun back and forth in the sky”. No cobwebs in the sky yet but it will not be long unless the…

  • That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

    Team Building… Whenever two or more people get together for a meeting, it is rare that some social conversation doesn’t take place, even in the strictest of business environments. Many companies encourage social interaction and refer to it as “team building.” I recall one point in my employment history when I worked for a few months on a particular project team where women outnumbered men about three to one. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I observed a strange phenomenon: a penchant for discussing bodily functions. I cannot attribute this behavior to women in general; I am only reporting what…

  • November 6, 2018…Let’s Get It Together…by Thom Stanley

    Friends and followers of the World Famous Sedona Excentric have been wondering why I have been waiting to weigh in on the current administration duly elected to represent and protect us all – every American and person on American soil. While that was once a task I took on monthly, I retired the hard copy version in 2015. The Bush administration had already crashed the world’s economy and my paper got caught up in the swill. I do, however, maintain ExcentricWorld.com website, where contributors like Brendon Marks and Will Durst and an occasional guest writer contribute every month. There is…

  • That Really Bunches My Panties . . . by Brendon Marks

    In general, human beings like having an order or natural progression to things. Three teaspoons make one tablespoon, 16 tablespoons make a cup, two cups to a pint, two pints to a quart, and four quarts to gallon. However, it breaks down when you get to barrels. A typical barrel is different from either a beer, oil, or whiskey barrel, and forget about a hogshead. All of this varies depending upon where you are in the world as well, which is why when I moved to Arizona and found out the people here have several different names for what are…

  • That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

    It won’t be long before a real human speaking on a telephone will be outlawed. If you want to call your mother, you will push a few buttons on your phone, press the ‘send’ button, lay your phone on the table, and go take a shower. The phone will do everything. Of course, you have to remember, your phone will be talking to your mother’s voice mail, so they’ll get along just fine. Lately, I’ve been getting the usual number of telemarketing calls, but they’ve been different. They’re not human beings anymore; they’re recordings or “robocalls”. One report I read…

FEATURED SEDONA EDITION

The Curse of 2611 West Highway 89A

Jun 20, 2017

View of Thunder Mountain from 2611 W. Highway 89A The Word Around Town Asking about Thai Spices restaurant moving from its previous location to 2611 West Highway 89A causes many people to just shake their head. “I don’t know what it is about that location,” you hear time and again, “but no restaurant ever seems to make it there.” Then the litany of restaurants that have occupied the single story building with views of Thunder Mountain begins: the old Osho Cafe, Savannah’s, Wild Orchid and, most recently, a French restaurant that only lasted about three weeks. Various reasons are then…

Strange & Cool Sedona Stuff

Jun 20, 2017

Painting My World: Gambel Quails and Swirling Skies Fri, 21 Jun 2013 We were pleasantly surprised by the Gambel Quail family that showed up while we had our morning coffee. First daddy quail came into view to check it out. We had out down some seed. Then he called for mommy and over she scooted with about 15 babies in tow … Gazing from the Vortex – Braco Live Stream Parties in Sedona Wed, 19 Jun 2013 Our first live stream party was when they were live streaming from Zagreb for Braco’s birthday from 8pm to 8am Sedona time. At…

Frosty No More

Jun 20, 2017

The Excentric World Special Task Force takes at look at the effects of climate change. While many politicians deny that climate change even exists, and others find no correlation between the deterioration of the protective ozone layer and pollutant emissions from the tools of humans, scientists have declared a potential state of emergency. A look at major cities around the world should be evidence enough that we are choking ourselves to death, never mind the dramatic rise in cases of basal cell skin carcinomas. Combustible automobile and truck engines, gas powered mowers and blowers contribute greatly to harmful particulates floating in…

Cross of the Sun

Jun 20, 2017

Although wine is my expertise, I’m an aficionado of all types of tasty beverages. And one item that I enjoy in particular is good quality tequila. While out wine tasting one recent afternoon, I managed to be in the right place at the right time and was able to taste some tequila that I can simply describe with one word: outstanding! Not only was it a taste treat, but it turned out to be a locally owned label, and is my feature for this month, Cruz del Sol Tequila. While the full name of the brand may be Cruz del Sol,…

PRESIDENT RASKOLNIKOV

May 20, 2017

The firing of FBI Director James Comey by the President of the United States slammed Washington with the suddenness of a two- story bowling ball hitting the South Portico after being dropped from a blimp. And the repercussions have shot across the Capitol like a flurry of Kansas tornadoes, causing the entire Beltway to chant, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.” A variety of reasons were given for the hasty dismissal. The FBI is in turmoil. Comey lost the confidence of the FBI rank and file. He did a lousy job. Way too tall. Has weird…

Father Knows Best?

May 20, 2017

cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner. This month’s subject: FATHERING “There is too much fathering going on just now and there is no doubt about it, fathers are depressing.” –Gertrude Stein “The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them.” –Bertrand Russell “Rich men’s sons are seldom rich men’s fathers.” –Herbert…

Meteor Strike in Russia

May 20, 2017

Q:  I, like many others, watched the video recordings of the recent meteor strike in Russia in amazement. It brought back memories of the story of the 1908 fire caused by an explosion in the Siberian forest. There was no crater ever found and the cause of the explosion, 1,000 times the power of the Hiroshima bomb, was never discovered. It is possible solar flares are reaching the earth and being covered up by government officials? A: There is a nut in Russia claiming the recent meteorite hit was the result of a conspiracy. He’s as crazy as politicians who…

Strange Rusty Powder Found on Cars

May 20, 2017

Q: I heard about a strange rusty powder that appeared on cars in the Chicago area recently. Angelo Mavaraganes, who runs a car repair shop, said he has seen it on at least 30 cars. Cars at the police parking lot at Belmont and Western have the rusty powder all over them, too. NBC 5’s Mary Ann Ahern said a lot of people in Chicago want to know what the stuff is that has fallen all over their cars. What do you think caused these occurrences? A: I believe someone from the Windy City bought some of our vortex energy…

Restaurant Ghost

May 20, 2017

Q:  I recently read an article about a restaurant that was haunted. There were reports of odd voices, doors opening and closing on their own, and a bathroom faucet that turns itself on. While in her office one day, the manager heard a loud thump from the kitchen. She investigated and found a large box of plastic wrap on the floor far from where it was placed. Could a former employee be causing these anomalies? A: Could be. It could also be the ghost of a person who ate there and got food poisoning and is looking for a little…

A Paranormals Is Here

May 20, 2017

Q:  I recently read an article about a woman who is demanding a new home for her and her family because she is convinced their house is haunted by the ghost of a man named Nigel. The housing association tenant claims a spiritual presence flicks lights on and off, tampers with appliances, moves posters around the walls and causes the floorboards to creak at the property. Any clue as to how she knows the name of the ghost? A: My guess is the woman lives in England. In America, ghosts are usually named Jim or Steve. Q: A friend told…

Tag, You’re It

May 20, 2017

Excentric World staff members take a look at the increasing lack of connection today’s children are having with playing outdoor games.  Years past, when a child was learning to play hide and go seek, they understood they should be somewhere they might not be easily discovered. Nowadays that concept is futile, as the child can be reached by cell phone and can be easily tagged and made “it.” Longing for the good old days. Related posts: No related posts.

Senior Fashion Faux Pas

May 20, 2017

It’s bad enough that young people today have their thighs mixed up with their waists. But c’mon, you older folks, there are things you should’ve learned by now. Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided: A nose ring and bifocals Spiked hair and bald spots A pierced tongue and dentures Miniskirts and support hose Ankle bracelets and corn pads Speedos and cellulite A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge Bikinis…

Guns, Guns and More Guns?

May 20, 2017

The Sedona Excentric investigative team takes a look at the rising crime rate in metropolitan America. While the suburbs seem to be getting safer, violent crimes are still a concern. This group of individuals were suspected of trying to buy guns at a gun show without identification. It turned out that the men were actually working undercover for a television station to expose the ease at which non-traceable guns are being acquired by the general public. Fortunately for the young men, their accompanying mascot, Rudy, was wearing a collar with a tag that could be tracked to the local Human…

Dwindling Number of Weddings

May 20, 2017

Sedona Excentric World looks at the dwindling number of scheduled June weddings. With the current state of the economy, couples are choosing to postpone their nuptials until their financial futures are looking brighter. As if the economy were not reason enough to defer matrimonial bliss, mothers are continuing to interfere in their sons’ futures. Reverend Joel Boyd, who is poised to perform his 1,000th wedding ceremony for Affordable Sedona Weddings, ran across this invitation for this coming fall. While Reverend Boyd states that most of his weddings come off without a hitch and few mothers are anything but enthusiastically supportive…

Typical Momma’s Boy?

May 20, 2017

A mother passing by her son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.  Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands. Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would…

CIA Recruiting Remote Viewers

May 20, 2017

Q: Methods of gathering intelligence include using satellites, intercepting communications and recruiting agents. Now, secret documents have emerged revealing that the British Ministry of Defense ran a covert project to recruit psychics. The term remote viewing was coined in the 1970s by researchers at Stanford University. Their work attracted the attention of US intelligence officials. Any evidence of CIA recruiting remote viewers? A: It’s possible. Everyone knows about the CIA secret camp in Cornville, AZ. Perhaps that’s where Sedona psychics go to retire. Q: Many mystics believe that the entry to the legendary Hyperborea, Shambala and Plutonia is carefully concealed…

Papers, Please

May 20, 2017

In June, Excentric World staff members take a look at the future and the way some politicians plan on boosting the economy. The animal kingdom has long been freeloading off of the leftovers of the many hard working Americans. In the wings is a program that will require the government capture these offenders, enlistment of them into the workforce and then taxing the crap out of them. Animals will be banded for identification, proving they are from the US and not migratory. Related posts: Rising Cost of Fuel Spurs Alternative Modes of Transportation A Fearless Breed of Trained Animals More…

Mammary Madness

May 20, 2017

Sigh! People . . . I am so disappointed in you. After thoroughly discussing the topic of appropriate attire in a previous article, I optimistically hoped that the denizens of Sedona would end up sporting a more tasteful approach to summer fashion. However, after a recent stint gad-abouting around town, I now find that I must summon my inner lecturing nun and rehash this topic with more verbal force and, unfortunately, to make my point, more graphic descriptions than may besuitable for a family column. What, you might ask, has me clutching at my chest barely able to contain my…

Reigning Cats and Dogs

May 20, 2017

Where would we be without our pets? Not only do we consider them members of the family, but in some cases, we actually dress them as if they were human. You know who you are. It starts simple enough at Christmas parties when you put those silly fake antlers on top of the dog’s head–no matter the size of dog– and pretend the poor pooch is one of Santa’s reindeer. Over the years, the dog becomes Mr. or Mrs. Claus for the family photo. Then, before anyone has noticed, the dog appears in public in outfits ranging from cowboys to…

Democracy

May 20, 2017

cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner. This month’s subject: DEMOCRACY “Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.” –Winston Churchill “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” –Benjamin Franklin “Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after…

That Really Bunches My Panties

That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

Team Building… Whenever two or more people get together for a meeting, it is rare that some social conversation doesn’t take place, even in the strictest of business environments. Many companies encourage social interaction and refer to it as “team building.” I recall one point in my employment history when I worked for a few months on a particular project team where women outnumbered men about three to one. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I observed a strange phenomenon: a penchant for discussing bodily functions. I cannot attribute this behavior to women in general; I am only reporting what…

That Really Bunches My Panties . . . by Brendon Marks

In general, human beings like having an order or natural progression to things. Three teaspoons make one tablespoon, 16 tablespoons make a cup, two cups to a pint, two pints to a quart, and four quarts to gallon. However, it breaks down when you get to barrels. A typical barrel is different from either a beer, oil, or whiskey barrel, and forget about a hogshead. All of this varies depending upon where you are in the world as well, which is why when I moved to Arizona and found out the people here have several different names for what are…

That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

It won’t be long before a real human speaking on a telephone will be outlawed. If you want to call your mother, you will push a few buttons on your phone, press the ‘send’ button, lay your phone on the table, and go take a shower. The phone will do everything. Of course, you have to remember, your phone will be talking to your mother’s voice mail, so they’ll get along just fine. Lately, I’ve been getting the usual number of telemarketing calls, but they’ve been different. They’re not human beings anymore; they’re recordings or “robocalls”. One report I read…

That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

I’m sure you’ve heard about the Kopi Luwak coffee that is made from beans recovered from Civet Cat dung. I have always been curious about the guy who first picked through a dung heap in the jungle, recognized the coffee beans and thought it would be a good idea to make a pot. Firstly I assume it was a guy, because even though I have known some women who buy into weird ideas, like wearing a shirt that buttons up the back, I can’t blame this idea on a woman. Secondly, he must have had a powerful craving for coffee…

That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

That’s A Nice Looking Lawn. When I lived in town my neighbors had lawns in front of their homes. I make this distinction because I didn’t have a lawn; I had desert landscaping. Gravel, cacti, sagebrush, and a few other drought-resistant, and more importantly, low-maintenance plants. Each neighbor had a different approach to taking care of his lawn. One neighbor did the job himself. I remember when he moved in. It was a new home, he moved in on a weekend. The next Friday he had sod delivered, Saturday he put it down, and a week later he mowed it….

That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

KEEP IN TOUCH… At company going-away parties, retirement parties or even when the employee who’s leaving isn’t well-liked enough to qualify for a party, and spends the last week on the job going from office to office saying good-bye to everyone who doesn’t see him coming, the last thing said is, “Let’s keep in touch.” Since I hate to make promises I don’t intend to keep, I need some ground rules. An instruction manual would be even better. What exactly does “keeping in touch,” mean? What is the minimum level of contact that fulfills the obligation of that phrase? A…

That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

I used to own one vehicle from each of the four major manufacturers, (Chrysler, Ford, General Motors and Japan), so I expected to buy four different oil filters. I was not prepared for what I encountered. The auto parts store where I shop has a bazillion different oil filters. So many that they have a big book, hanging on a chain from a shelf, that you use to find the oil filter for your vehicle. You scan the charts to find the make and year of your vehicle, then narrow it down using other factors such as engine size, number…

That Really Bunches My Panties…by Brendon Marks

Almost every article I write generates some sort of feedback, and I am amazed at the diverse range of the reactions. No article is universally liked or disliked, and almost every article elicits a response from one person saying it is the best I’ve ever done while another person says it’s the worst. Those two people are different from one article to the next. I’ve also gotten pretty good at predicting who will like or dislike an article. I have long since stopped trying to make every article appeal to every reader, because I realize it is an impossible task….