June 28, 2017

TOP 10 Darwin Awards . . . Unbelievable

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10. It was reported that in Australia in 1989 a Kung-Fu student tried to take on a lion at the Melbourne zoo in one on one, man to cat combat. As confirmed, the highly unbelievable story goes, during his martial arts class the instructor commented on how well the class was doing and how they were “ready to take on the wild animals.” One young gentleman decided to try his hand at lion fighting. The irony is that his hands were the only things left when the lions were finished with him.

9. You are locked out of your house so the normal thing to do is climb through the kitchen window. If you happen to be too large for the window, flail around until the hot water is turned on. Now, if the sink is filling up with hot water and your head is actually in the sink, apparently, the thing to do is not to pull the plug or turn off the water, the proper course of action is give up and drown. Apparently that’s how they did it May 2004 in Wolfsberg, Austria.

8. In 2004 in Washington State, US a man named Philip was settling in to enjoy his brand new lava lamp. While waiting for the lamp to heat up, Philip became impatient. Paying little heed to the laws of physics, our Darwin, Einstein put the glass part of the lamp onto a stove top to heat it faster. The lamp top exploded sending a large shard directly into our genius’ chest.

7. In 1996 the good people of the Canadian town of Chilliwack were awakened by a low flying aircraft. The plane, flying rather erratically was piloted by two locals known for their drunken exploits. Having gone on an all night bender and apparently fearing to drive home drunk, these two stole a small single engine plane and took it for a joyride. Unfortunately their tail clipped some power lines and they crashed and died.

6. Belize 2006: 26-year-old Kennon was attempting to replicate Ben Franklin’s famous kite flying experiment. Presumably, this was an attempt to prove or disprove Franklin’s findings. What young Kennon should have done was not used copper wire for kite string. The kite sailed high and the string just barely touched a high voltage power line that sent 3 billion watts into the young man killing him instantly. Shocking.

5. In 2005, Nguyen found an unexploded, rusted detonator laying around and brought it home for show and tell. After a night of drinking he pulled out his prize collection. An argument between Nguyen and his friends resulted in the young man losing his head – well, most of it. The 21-year-old had someone plug both of the dangling wires into a 220 watt light socket which ignited the detonator that was in his mouth sending one half  his jaw east and the other west.

4. In 2002 while trying to save money on fireworks a man came up with what he thought was a frugal solution. Having a hand grenade laying around he decided to use the explosive material inside the grenade to manufacture some homemade bottle rockets and Roman candles. Lacking so much as a screwdriver apparently, the man went for the next most delicate tool: a chainsaw. Had the man waited until nightfall to attempt to open a hand grenade with a chainsaw, the need for fireworks could have been filled.

3. In 2008 while driving home from a memorial service, a Bulgarian biology teacher and the two people riding in her car suddenly and inexplicably stopped in the road and leapt from the vehicle. Apparently the teacher has some potentially noxious chemicals in her car and lacking a chemical sink and any semblance of good sense, began pouring them down the drain in the manhole cover. The resulting chemical reaction was an explosion so powerful the manhole cover flew straight up and decapitated the teacher.

2. South Carolina in 2007, a young couple was found on the side of the road naked and dead. While searching a nearby building they found clothes on the slanted roof near where the bodies were found. These two love birds plummeted to their death while attempting to fly.

1. A man in Houston, Texas found out how to play Russian Roulette the hard way in 2000. Removing all but one bullet from his clip, the young man cocked the gun and proceeded to take the first turn. It was not a revolver.

 

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