August 19, 2018

You’re an Old Sedonan…

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  • When you buy a computer to send email to save on postage.
  • When you count your Bingo losses as church offerings.
  • When you are told your memory bank has been burglarized.
  • When asked about liquid assets, you search the stock in the liquor cabinet.
  • When a prune juice wine cooler is your favorite beverage.
  • When your skull x-rays are mistaken for those of an extinct not-so-great ape.
  • When you check into a motel and suffer motion sickness while reading the Bible on the Magic Fingers vibrating bed.
  • When you go to an All-U-Can-Eat buffet and the hot food is cold when you get back to your table.
  • When everything on the “History Channel” seems like reruns.
  • When you get lost in a thought and realize it’s totally unfamiliar territory.
  • When you discover you are diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • When you are more worried about your number of bowel movements than your mounting number of driving accidents.
  • When your mind becomes like a steel trap – quite rusty and illegal in 37 states.
  • When bacteria is the only culture you have left.

 

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