You May Teach In Sedona If…

• You request the staff room be equipped with a valium salt lick.
• You want to slap people you overhear saying, “It must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.”
• You believe chocolate is a food group.
• You want a “Shallow Gene Pool” box added to report cards, but realize as far as you’ll get is “Not Quite As Gifted
  As Others.”
• All personal life between August and June is a blur.
• You think calling you by your first name should be reserved for adults only, if that’s okay with the kids and
  their parents.
• You have to be very careful when discussing vegetables and fruits.
• You relish Parent-Teacher Days just to put faces to the sperm and egg that created such unique individuals.
• You’re always surprised at how well behaved children are when their parents are in the same room with their
  teachers.
• You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the teacher’s lounge.
• You are an adamant advocate of home schooling.
• You feel all parents should have to teach school for at least two years before being allowed to reproduce.
• You know you are in for a major breakdown when a parent says, “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss with you.
  It’ll be such fun.”

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