November 17, 2018

Who Is Reading What These Days?

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The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country, but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country–if they could find the time and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country just so they do something scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country…or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided, of course, they are not Republicans.

The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

The Sedona Excentric is read by people tired of reading the same old crap.

None of these papers is read by the person currently running this country.

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