July 16, 2018

Doug “Rabbit” Sutherland, Minister of Reality

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GLUTEN DEPENDENCY

 I’ve taken up the mantle in
   Defense of noble wheat
Which, at the hands of gluten, may
   Face ultimate defeat!

Although I’ve suffered bloating and
   Fatigue and canker sores,
Joint pain and diarrhea and
   Bad dreams and gagging snores

And changes in behavior and
   Small fractures of my head
And bulky stools and rashes when
   I glimpse a crumb of bread,

And know that these are symptoms in
   “The Celiac Checklist
Of Glutenesque Intolerance,”
   But, still, I must resist,

For in my fluffy, rising soul
   I am a gluten fan,
Intolerant of muffins that
   Lay dead upon the pan!

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