August 10, 2022

Doug “Rabbit” Sutherland, Minister of Reality



My daddy said it loud in spite
Of my repugnant scowls:
“You’ll know you’re growing old when you
Start talking ’bout your bowels!”

His words rose up in horror and
My forehead ran with sweat
While googling “proctologists”
Upon the internet.

The doctor’s name was Jolly and
He grinned out from my screen;
Doc Jolly loved proctology!–
On colons, he was keen!

He said he was a genius with
His radiated gas,
And, if I had ten thousand bucks,
He’d fix my sorry ass!

My youth has been restored again!–
No talk about my bowels!
(Except, these days I always line
My underwear with towels.)

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