September 21, 2018

INSIDE THE NEWS by David Fidelman

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GIVING THANKS NEWS: Police say a Pennsylvania woman chased her boyfriend around a dining room and stabbed him in the chest because he started eating Thanksgiving dinner while she slept off a bender. The boyfriend say she had too much to drink and fell asleep, so he helped himself to dinner while she slept. She stabbed him and threw the knife at him, cutting his face. This year, he was thankful his wounds were not life threatening.

SHELL GAME NEWS: State crews in Indiana have put up “Turtle Crossing” signs along a busy road running beside a wildlife area in Terre Haute. The signs mark an area where turtles of various species are killed by vehicles as they try to cross National Avenue on the northern edge of the Wabashiki Fish and Wildlife Area just west of the Wabash River. No one was sure whether or not the turtles could read and know exactly where to cross.

ZIP LOCK NEWS: Authorities say a woman being cited for public drunkenness in Pennsylvania accidentally dropped a baggie of crack cocaine on the police station floor. The woman was cited and released, but returned moments later to report being harassed by someone and, in the process, fluffed her shirt to straighten it out — and the drugs fell out. Police found it and charged her after reviewing a video tape showing her dropping the cocaine. She denied it hers, but asked if she could have it if no one claimed it.

HAVE IT YOUR WAY NEWS: An employee at a Burger King found a backpack. He spotted the blue backpack left in his San Jose eatery early one morning. When it was still there by that afternoon he called the owner who opened it, hoping to find identification or a phone number. Officers opened the bag, which contained $100,000, some candy, a small amount of marijuana and a bank deposit slip. Much like the Pennsylvania cocaine case above, no one has come to claim the booty. We chose to avoid the obvious Whopper reference.

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