June 1, 2023

INSIDE THE NEWS by David Fidelman


HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH NEWS: A bank robber who stopped during his escape to bum a cigarette off a construction worker has been sentenced to 10 years in prison by a federal judge in Pittsburgh. The man’s attorney argued his client has had a life-long problem with alcohol and should get a shorter term. The man’s addictions seem to have caught up with him. smoking really can be hazardous to your health – and freedom.

ILL GOTTEN BOOTY NEWS: A man from Swansea, Wales, was accused of stealing more than 40,000 pounds ($64,000) from the bank account of an elderly neighbor with Alzheimer’s disease. When police began investigating, the man claimed to be quadriplegic and so sick he at times fell into a coma. He checked himself into hospital to avoid court appearances. He recently pleaded guilty and is due for sentencing and an offer from a reality show producer.

NO CLASS NEWS: A princess, fifth in line for the Romanian throne, and her husband admitted running a cockfighting ring in rural Oregon. They were sentenced to probation and ordered to forfeit $200,000. Irina Walker is the one of five daughters of exiled former Romanian King Michael, who went into exile after being forced to abdicate in 1947. She was born in Switzerland. Just goes to show you can take the girl out of the country, but can’t take the country out of the girl.

OUT WITH A BANG NEWS: A funeral home in Missouri is working with an owner of a fireworks manufacturing business. The company packs the ashes into a large fireworks aerial shell and fires them into the night sky. According to the pyrotechnics specialist “it explodes with a lot of beauty and covers a lot of the sky. It spreads the cremated remains into the sky and the particles are taken into the wind.” Firework displays may be popular in the summer, when families can explode their family’s ashes over a lake.

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