July 21, 2018

Inside The News

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NOT DEAD YET NEWS: A man, declared dead in 1994, has tried unsuccessfully to undo his death. Even as he stood in court last year providing evidence of his existence, a Hancock County judge turned down a request to bring him back to life, citing a three-year limit for changing a death ruling. But the Social Security Administration accepts his new life and wants his two daughters to return more than $47,000 to cover benefits they received.

THUNDERBIRD NEWS: A Texas woman allegedly stole a bottle of $3.99 wine from a convenience store to get arrested and see her jailed boyfriend. the woman, of Cedar Park was charged with misdemeanor theft and freed on $5,000 bond. An arrest affidavit says police found the woman outside the business and drinking the wine. Bail should have been denied for her consuming the wine.

CRIMSON TIDE NEWS: An Alabama teenager with dyed-red hair was sent home from school by her principal over concerns that her mane was too bright and distracting. The 15-year-old student at Muscle Shoals High School had been dyeing her hair red for three years without incident until principal Chad Holden called her into his office. Holden, promoted from assistant principal at the school this year, said in a statement he was enforcing long-standing school policy and would continue to do so. Roll Tide.

INVESTMENT NEWS: A 20-year-old Brazilian man has spent more than $50,000 in cosmetic procedures to turn himself into a real-life version of Barbie’s boyfriend, Ken. The man has had four surgeries on his jaw, chin, and nose, plus silicone implants in his chest. He has declared that he now intends to market a doll made in his likeness. He gained recognition when he went on a Brazilian talk show in Sao Paolo. He charges up to $16,000 for VIP appearances and is now talking to producers about a possible reality show. One has to hope he is more anatomically correct than the doll.

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