September 19, 2018

Curmudgeon Corner

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cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown]
1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man.
2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

This month’s subject: EVOLUTION

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” Milton Berle

“Essential to the theory of evolution is the premise that everything has come into being by itself.” Walter Lang

“I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it’s a very poor scheme for survival.” Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

“Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?” E. O. Wilson

“My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.” Steven Wright

“While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain

“Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.” A. Einstein

“Evolution is fascinating to watch. To me it is the most interesting when one can observe the evolution of a single man.” Shana Alexander

“Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human.” Will Rogers

“All modern men are descended from a wormlike creature, but it shows more on some people.” Will Cuppi

“I was a young man with uninformed ideas. I threw out queries, suggestions, wondering all the time over everything; and to my astonishment the ideas took like wildfire. People made a religion of them.” Charles Darwin

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