October 16, 2017

Curmudgeon Corner . . .

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cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown]
1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man.
2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.
This month’s subject: DOCTORS

“If your time ain’t come not even a doctor can kill you.” American Proverb

“The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that “hmmmm” noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won’t come right out and say “UH-oh!” Dave Barry

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” Erma Bombeck

“I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.” James H. Boren

“It requires a great deal of faith for a man to be cured by his own placebos.” John L. Mcclenahan

“The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain’t the gout.” Josh Billings

“I firmly believe that if the whole materia medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind,—and all the worse for the fishes.” Oliver Wendell Homes (Sr.)

“The whole imposing edifice of modern medicine is like the celebrated tower of Pisa —slightly off balance.” Prince Charles

“If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.” Robert Benchley

“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.” Voltaire

“My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more.” Walter Matthau

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