November 15, 2018

Curmudgeon Corner . . .

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cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown]
1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man.
2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

This month’s subject: HOLIDAYS

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.” Erma Bombeck

“On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf’s lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.” David Sedaris

“I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn’t.” Craig Ferguson

“You know if the U.S. Government wanted to boost the economy there’s a simple solution make Black Friday the refund date for your state and federal taxes.” Stanley Victor Paskavich

“There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.” Dan Florence

“Marry an orphan: you’ll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.” George Carlin

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” Dave Barry

“A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” John B. Priestly

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.” Bernard Manning

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Curmudgeon Corner
Curmudgeon Corner
Curmudgeon Corner . . .
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