What’s On Tap . . . by Joel Mann, Staff Wine Tasting Guy
Over the years, one of the traditional benefits of beer versus wine during an evening out is the freshness of beer served from draft keg systems. Wine by the glass on the other hand was usually poured from the bottle, and chances were that bottle remained open for several days, resulting in wine of less than optimum quality. A positive trend has hit the wine industry of late though as the bar and restaurant business discovered the magic of kegged wine. Numerous bars now have a dedicated bank of taps just for wines by the glass, and many wineries are…
Misbehave in Quickness, Regret in Leisure
Astute readers of this column will remember that in a ceremony held a year ago I was voted Liar of the Year, a dubious honor I neither sought nor coveted. It was presented to me for a favorable biography I wrote and published of an unsavory old reprobate who had the good fortune to have a well-heeled nephew who wanted to enhance his family image about the time I was in need of a little ready cash. Reprobate himself had expired ten years earlier, so I took a chance that memories of the old villain had sufficiently faded, and I…
LOCAL PLANS HOLIDAY PARADE
Pictured is a variety of tomatoes. Grown locally, they are offered by roadside venders and Connolly’s Farmer’s Market throughout the year. Sedonans are picky about their fruit and vegetables, often paying extra for edibles labeled organic. More important than the label may be the fact it was grown locally, making it fresh, and drastically reducing the environmental footprint worldwide by delivering the goods down the road as opposed to across country, and in some cases across oceans and the planet. And while everyone knows tomatoes are fruit, did you know you can save 15% on your car insurance? by Blodwyn…
No News from Doodlebug Island . . . by William F. Jordan
The conviviality at Barney’s Pub and Suds had nearly reached its zenith when Frank Turpin asked Amos Baker how he accounted for the rise of the tea party movement? Actually, he inserted a pejorative before the words ‘tea party,’ which described his own opinion of a group he obviously disdained. “Well,” began Amos amidst the groans of his table mates who knew that when he began with the word ‘well,’ a sizeable lecture might normally follow. In this case, however, he surprised them. “It’s caused by the same strain of virus that infects many mothers-in-law.” “That’s ridiculous,” replied Frank, busily…
What’s In A Name? – Evidently Everything! by Brendon Marks
I saw a recent newspaper headline that blared, “Cardinals Come From Behind to Beat Eagles.” I just had to investigate, because with my admittedly limited knowledge of birds, even if the cardinals did attack from behind, I would have put my money on the eagles. Then I realized the headline was referring to a football game. Why do we have to name our sports teams? I realize that being called the Phoenix or Philadelphia Footballers might not have much popular appeal, but why the Cardinals? Or for that matter, why the Eagles–or anything? Even though there are cardinals and diamondbacks…
Typical Excentric Reader
This month’s typical Excentric Reader Colonel One Eye, shown here with two eyes. Colonel One Eye can be seen along AZ highways throughout the year watching over Verde Valley youth picking up trash left by litterers while participating in Folksville USA – a virtual anti-litter town organized by Gary Chamberlain, a member of American Legion Post 135 in Cornville, AZ. A program called Bag Ready Jobs empowers youth groups to develop personal and civic responsibilities, fund raise, and keep America beautiful. It would seem Colonel One Eye had both eyes working when he read a copy of the Excentric, freaking…
Gideon Goes to the Dark Side . . . by Gideon Noire
“Farewell has a sweet sound of reluctance. Good-by is short and final, a word with teeth sharp to bite through the string that ties past to the future.” John Steinbeck “It’s the emptiest and yet the fullest of all human messages: ‘Good-bye.” Kurt Vonnegut “Sleep tight, ya morons!” J.D. Salinger All great writers have dealt with the sadness of saying good bye. Even the greatest of them all, the late Bill Shakespeare, took a swing at it (“Parting is such sweet sorrow”). The fact is, when it comes your time—when it’s your turn to ride off into the sunset—there is…
Automotive Breakdown
Apologies to the old Buick ad; “this isn’t your father’s fan belt”. The venerable old V-belt has been long gone and in its place is a ribbed flat belt often called a ‘serpentine belt’. These ribbed flat belts often use both sides of the belt to drive the engine accessories as they wrap and snake around the pulleys they drive. They are longer lasting, and use less horsepower to drive the accessories we have all gotten quite used to; power steering, air conditioning, and the ever important alternator. Water pumps are often, but not always, driven by the timing belt….
“Prove” It . . . by Joel Mann, Staff Wine Tasting Guy
We presently enjoy a well regulated consumer goods market where manufacturers are required to truthfully label the contents within the package. Producers are not allowed to make a claim that something contains X, when it in fact contains Y. That hasn’t always been the case. Alcoholic spirits pose a challenge in distinguishing relative volumes of ethanol to water as both liquids are clear with a fairly neutral flavor profile that does not allow one to distinguish perceptible differences as concentrations of ethanol versus water increase or decrease. The flavor profile and physical properties of a spirit will change significantly over…
Lost In New York . . . By Bishop, Sometimes Travel Reporter
None but a fool worries about things he cannot influence — Samuel Johnson Hats off to marvelous Harry’s in Cornville where one of life’s mysteries is penned to the patio wall. To wit: nobody gets to see the wizard, not nobody, not know how. If we ever needed him before, that’s nothing at all compared to how much we need him now. Scanning the world from Manhattan to West Sedona, life appears to be lurching daily from ecstasy to despair, rather like one of those endless Russian novels. There are those in West Sedona that complain about bad schools yet at…
More Yummies . . . by Joseph G. Evrard, Staff Kentuckian
From time to time here at Guy Stuff Central, we like to pause to examine the state of world gastronomy. Cooking is not only a necessary and vital thing; it is also a source of recreation and pleasure for untold millions of people around the world. Food hobbyists are legendary in their quest for the new, the unique and the spectacular menu item. Cooking clubs abound and the Internet is full of cooking and recipe chatter. Keeping up with the world of cooking and food is an overwhelming task, but fear not. Your good friend Buck is here to bring…
So You Think You’re Handy . . . by Brendon Marks
Sooner or later every homeowner is faced with the choice of attempting their own repairs, hiring a professional, replacing whatever is broken, or moving. Let me help you decide. A large part of the decision has to do with money. It is usually based on how willing the homeowner is to part with it, not so much on whether it is available. The next most important factor is tools. Skill level increases dramatically when you use the correct tool and success rate drops rapidly when you improvise (not everyone can solder a copper pipe using a Bic lighter and a…
SEX SCANDAL ROCKS THE AREA
Pictured are the faces of dogs caught in sex scandals. Note that each one displayed the same expression when caught. While only a few admitted to paying for their extramarital encounter, they each paid for it in the end, one way or another. While the human dogs are often forgiven and permitted a second, and in some instances a third, chance, the dog dog is far too often successful in impregnating its mate first time out. Due to space limitations, very few political dogs’ pictures made the cover. Noticeably missing is John Edwards, Mark Sanford, Larry Craig, and the Governator, Arnold…
Grapes and the Grill . . . by Joel Mann, Staff Wine Tasting Guy
Arizona has one definite advantage over many places – the ability to grill outdoors for most of the year. Now that the summer heat is finally starting to die away, it’s becoming prime grilling season too. The typical Americana fare that makes it way over a bed of coals does not usually conjure up images of fine wine however. While ice cold beer is often a great accompaniment to a juicy piece of meat cooked over fire, don’t underestimate the potential for a nice glass of vino to go with your grilled meat and seafood. This month, I’ll delve into…
No News from Doodlebug Island . . . by William F. Jordan
If current thinking among social scientists is correct, there is roughly 20% about the nature of everyone else we won’t or don’t like, but since that leaves 80% we might like, residents of Doodlebug Island view the whole matter optimistically and tend to minimize what might be perceived as shortcomings. Vanity being what it is, however, we ascribe greater acceptance levels to ourselves, thinking that if people only knew us better or could read our heart we would score in the late 90’s or approach the 100% that more nearly describes our own opinion. Nor am I immune to such…
Pondering What If’s
It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers. James Thurber Littered with flotsam and jetsam, there’s a front porch in uptown Sedona that has much in common with a beach. Yes, a beach in that one never knows what or who will wash up on it–day nor night. According to somewhat reliable neighborhood sources, the latest sightings include two bible salespersons, a water conservationist, the last Ralph Nader supporter, the last Liberal, a poet named Portlin, some unemployed UFO pilots and two former City Council counselors. At other times, assorted ruffians, banjo players, a convicted…
Festival Fever . . . by Joseph G. Evrard, Staff Kentuckian
Climb aboard Boys and Girls, we’re off on another adventure to discover some of the more offbeat and wacky festivals people have dreamed up to celebrate local talents, promote indigenous products and rake in those ever-popular tourist dollars. As we travel across our great land we’ll catch a glimpse of the impossible, see a healthy dose of the improbable and maybe even encounter the unthinkable. Let’s go. Our first stop is high in the Colorado Rockies in the small town of Gasp. The town was so named because that’s all the original settlers could do. By the time they had…
That Really Bunches My Panties by Brendon Marks
I recently received an email from my niece relating how the spiders took over her condo while she was away. The final straw was when she discovered (with her face) a spider web across the door between her condo and garage. Regardless of how you feel about spiders and their chance for survival, in this instance, you have to admire their resourcefulness. Even though my niece is petite, had they been successful, they would have had enough for three square meals a day for a year. This made me think about bugs in general. Despite all of our insecticides,…
Perfect Tolerance for Problems
Age and experience have taught me that I have a perfect tolerance for problems–those belonging to other people–and I have an entire collection of solutions that I stand ready to advance when opportunity presents itself. Not for nothing have I practiced the counseling techniques “I hear you saying. . .”, or “Go with that . . .” or “I feel your pain .. .” But little of this mattered much during a recent visit I had with Paul Murchison, Principal of the Doodlebug High School. Paul is normally the picture of affability; so when I ran into him at the…
SEEING IS BELIEVING . . . By Bishop, Excentric Authentic Scrivener
Optimism consistently outruns the water supply…………………………..Wallace Stegner Once upon a time it so happened in Cornville, Arizona that an invisible man dropped by a dental office to make an appointment. When told by the receptionist just who was in the waiting room, the dentist snapped “I can’t see him.” Ludicrousness aside for a moment there is more than meets the eye to that dentist’s crack. It is said in West Sedona salons that truth is the child of time. Undeniably, gentle reader, the dentist’s refusal to see, when applied around the Verde Valley, and up and downtown Sedona, suddenly takes…
