August 19, 2018

Typical Excentric Reader . . .

This month’s typical Excentric Readers are Len and Olga Ostrom at Buddhist temple in Sri Lanka. they vacationed from February 18 through March 18, 2014. They also traveled to the Taj Mahal in India. In their accompanying note they wrote, “We have been fans of your Sedona Excentric paper for many years. Hope you can use these pictures in a new publication.”Well, Len and Olga, here goes.   Related posts: Typical Excentric Reader Typical Excentric Reader Typical Excentric Reader Typical Excentric Reader

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New Addictions Discovered . . . By Bishop, Excentric Therapeutic Consultant

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.                                                  Burton Hills  Truth be told, it is said that in greater Sedona, people are either therapists, former therapists or thinking of going into therapy. Now arriving is a puzzling new strain of emotional emotions, so widespread that self-published, self-help books are even now being created. One need not be a therapist, however, to detect the trend. One can sense the trend almost anywhere, from the markets to the barbershops, from the dry cleaners to post offices and resorts: people have glum looks on their faces. Drivers glower at one…

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USELESS BOOKS . . . by Joseph G. Evrard, Staff Kentuckian

I was in the library the other day looking for copies of the latest bestsellers when it occurred to me that there might be something to learn from a list of “worst” sellers. Everybody pays so much attention to what books are popular and why they appeal to the great masses. Shouldn’t it be equally fascinating to learn why some books don’t sell? Always one to look on the unexplored side of things, I took my quest to the head librarian who, obligingly enough, showed me to a room down in the bowels of the building. On the door was…

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That Really Bunches My Panties by Brendon Marks

It’s common knowledge that running takes off body fat like a knife. But running is not for everyone. Some people fall into one of the “terrible too’s”: “Too old,” “too wimpy,” “too decrepit,” and have to find an alternative.  Biking appears to have gained some followers in recent years. For those contemplating a venture into that exercise arena; I have taken the liberty of doing some research. Making the observation that most bike riders are skinny would lead one to believe that bike riding makes one skinny.  Maybe it does, but there are other factors to consider. The design of…

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CLIMATE CHANGE HITS HERE?

Pictured is what was once a large body of fresh water. Some ranchers, who used to graze their cattle at this oasis, owned and maintained by the United States Bureau of Land Management, have filed a complaint claiming that they now will be forced to pay to graze on private lands at ten times the price. It’s bad enough that the government subsidizes ranchers  at a loss to taxpayers each year and have for nearly fifty years, but now, due to cutbacks, they have been forced to resort to employing rain dancers from nearby tribes (that used to own the land…

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Let The Fests Begin. . . by Joel Mann, Staff Wine Tasting Guy

Springtime kicks off the beer festival season in Arizona. It almost marches in lockstep with the words “pitchers and catchers” to open spring training. While some fests may change, there are several throughout the year one can count on. It begins with the Strong Beer Festival which occurred just last weekend as I write this. The Great Arizona Beer Festival is of course the big event during the season, usually in March. When the weather is blazing hot, action shifts to the cool climes of Flagstaff and the summertime Made in the Shade Festival. The year wraps-up come fall down…

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They’re Back . . .

Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite! Our Excentric Investigative Staff takes a look at the possible consequences of sleeping on someone else’s bed sheets. Take this woman, for example. She was on vacation for the first time in more than a dozen years. While staying in a hostel in Russia during the Olympics, she experienced a bunch of little pricks on her arms and back throughout the night. The bites were so severe that she required emergency care at a hospital. when asked about the conditions of some of the accommodations available during the recent Winter Olympics, acting president of…

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No News from Doodlebug Island . . . by William F. Jordan

It was Friday; I had my feet up and was congratulating myself on having my newspaper, the Doodlebug Island Run-on, ready to go to press when  Randolph Spitzenberger dropped by. “Bill, I’ve just had the most paradoxical experience of my life, one with extraordinary implications! I was at Madelyn Fisher’s home examining her collections and overheard a conversation between her and her son Morgan. He asked if there were anything she needed, or if there were anything he could do for her before he left? She pointed to a postcard on the kitchen counter and said, ‘Yes, you can mail…

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Quiet Please . . . By Bishop, Special Eccentric Free Lancer

Silence is always there; all we can make is noise. . . . Mother Mirabel  Time was that neighing of horses was the loudest noise in old Sedona with the exception of closing time at the old Oak Creek Tavern when publishers and film stars went screaming off into the night. Now it is airplanes which seem to cruise above town, faster and lower and louder, accompanied by helicopters. In the streets to the west of uptown, bellowing Harleys race up and down while autos with out of state plates scrape by one another, often blocking postmen and women from delivering…

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ROLLING BLACKOUTS . . . by Joseph G. Evrard, Staff Kentuckian

I just got back from California (birthplace of the rolling blackout).  I guess by now you’ve heard about those rolling blackouts. As a member of the original team invited to tour the electricity storage caverns (remember my column on Stale Electricity?), I was recently called upon to tour the California Blackout Factory where these things are manufactured. As you might imagine, these blackout things didn’t just happen by themselves and jump onto the scene. There’s a considerable history of development, which provides a fascinating insight into the origins of this phenomenon. I was surprised to learn the folks who perfected…

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That Really Bunches My Panties by Brendon Marks

As I waited my turn at the counter in the bowling alley, I casually watched a young guy behind the counter spray something into each one of the collection of rental shoes that had been returned by previous bowlers. I thought, ‘It’s good they do that. No tellin’ what sort of feet have been in those shoes.’ Then it occurred to me that I really didn’t know what the spray was. It could be a disinfectant or it could be only a deodorant or even just compressed air like you use to blast the toast crumbs out of your computer…

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Automotive Breakdown… by Denny Mandeville, Owner/Canyon Automotive, Sedona

Summer is coming, and, historically, the last weekend in May gives rise to the dreaded triple digit temperatures (at least in the lower elevations). We may be smug with our 90’s temperatures, but even those temperatures are hard on your car. And the triple digits will come to beautiful Sedona before anyone is truly ready. Just as summer is coming so is the time to prepare for your summer traveling even if the expected extent of your journey is Phoenix. If your excursion plans include San Diego or Rocky Point, a little more preparation would be wise. Did you know…

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The Joy of Parenting?

Our crack staff takes a look at today’s parents. In America, young parents seem to think that denying their children of any experience is a drawback and detrimental to their overall well-being. Parents today refuse to discipline their children or tell them “no.” If they have issues with the way they were raised, it would stand to reason that they would be flawed and therefore incapable of making sound parental decisions. C’mon, what parent in their right or left mind would photograph their kid being eaten by a camel? Related posts: Seniors Setting New Password You May Teach In Sedona…

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EDITOR: CLINTON IS RUNNING

Pictured is Ms. Hillary Clinton. To date, she is the only American to serve both as U.S. Senator and the U.S. Secretary of State. Add to that, she also was First Lady for eight years, and the only first lady to serve the senate. While many people, mostly democrats, are clamoring for her to run for president, others, mostly republicans, are wishing she would simply retire. Polls show that compared to every potential republican running for president, Hillary Clinton would win handily. The more serious question is what would become of Joe Biden – the only politician that got it right…

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Let The Fests Begin. . . by Joel Mann, Staff Wine Tasting Guy

Springtime kicks off the beer festival season in Arizona. It almost marches in lockstep with the words “pitchers and catchers” to open spring training. While some fests may change, there are several throughout the year one can count on. It begins with the Strong Beer Festival which occurred just last weekend as I write this. The Great Arizona Beer Festival is of course the big event during the season, usually in March. When the weather is blazing hot, action shifts to the cool climes of Flagstaff and the summertime Made in the Shade Festival. The year wraps-up come fall down…

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Typical Excentric Reader

This month’s typical Excentric Readers are Drew and Arie Smith of Fort Worth, TX visiting San Antonio for a weekend, shown here in front of the Mission San Antonio de Valero with their Excentric. Roughly 200 Texan defenders fought courageously here, but eventually succumbed to 1500 soldiers from the Mexican Army. Their bravery inspired other Texans, and 6 weeks later, the Mexican Army was defeated at the Battle of San Jacinto, thereby ending the revolution.  While the Alamo has served as a variety of purposes, such as a church, school, hospital, etc., and even  the alleged location of Pee Wee…

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A Whiskey-Golden Time . . . By Bishop, Special Eccentric Excentric

As soon as I enter the door of a tavern, I experience oblivion of care, and a freedom from concern…there is nothing which has yet to be contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced by a good tavern.                           Samuel Johnson, London, 1777  The news spread faster than a Tea Party Lie. In legendary London, and in villages nearby, 7000 pubs are being closed—forever leaving local quaffers and boozers to face a dreaded, dryer future: No local community gathering place to have a nip, hear the gossip and bet a bit on Cricket. Longtime Sedonans know that…

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Experience

Have you noticed lately that everyone wants you to have an “Experience?” Turn on your TV and you’ll hear car dealers talking about your buying experience or your ownership experience or how nice your maintenance experience will be. The lawn mower guys want me to have the Dixon ZTR experience. We can now have a dining experience, driving experience, a vacation experience, a shopping experience, or if we buy the right organic foods, a Wellness Experience! Whatever happened to good old-fashioned experience – the stuff you had to have to land a job; the stuff you needed to succeed in…

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The Barely Mobile Homes

The next time you come up behind one of those lumbering giants called an RV on the road between Wickenburg and Wikieup here are some things to think about as you crawl along, waiting for the next passing zone. Did you ever notice that you never catch up to one when the road is straight and flat? It’s always when the road is so steep and crooked that you can almost read your own back license plate, and the passing zones contain only two dashes. You creep up, trying not to think about dodging the avalanche of aluminum folding chairs…

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The Joy of Easter?

Our crack staff takes a look at the celebration of Easter. Like many holidays that started out as Pagan rituals then turned into Holy Days and then were hijacked by corporations, Easter is currently known in the United States for egg hunts, candy-filled baskets, lilies, cards and visits with a giant bunny. The word Easter is derived from another language meaning Passover. Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection occurred after he went to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover (or Pesach in Hebrew), the Jewish festival commemorating the ancient Israelites’ exodus from slavery in Egypt. Somehow, between then and now, marshmallow chicks, jelly beans…

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