Horoscopes for June 2-8, 2013
ARIES (April 21 – April 19)
You’ll put a strong emphasis on love and affection, and you won’t be afraid to be demonstrative. Just remember, some demonstrations are illegal in public.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Venus and Mars are alright tonight. It has nothing to do with Taurus in June. I was listening to McCartney and Wings when I was writing these forecasts.
GEMINI (May 21 -June 20)
This month, you will decide to join one of those online dating groups. When you receive the results, you will be puzzled to learn the only match was yourself.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Through much of June, people will look to you for answers, reassurance, calm and objectivity without panic or judgement. Boy, are they barking up the wrong tree.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Put on your party hat, throw some confetti around, and celebrate. Sounds like fun. Remember, when you sober up, someone is going to have to clean up that mess.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
This month you’ll send yourself a bouquet of roses. At first you’ll convince yourself it was because nobody else would, then realize you were apologizing.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
In June, you may be overly generous with others and spend too much. This could make you think that you can win love and affection with gifts. Works for me.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Impulsive moves and the tendency to be stubborn about change will leave you in a precarious position – much like that Twister turn you hurt yourself on last year.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
A new romantic companion may pop into your life this month. Like the stock market downturn, it will last for a while, hurt like hell, but you will get over it.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
The Sun and Mercury in Taurus will bring a strong work ethic, a good memory, and the ability to concentrate in June. One month a year is as good as it gets.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
You’ll be drawn to the occult and metaphysics, but you’ll maintain a healthy skepticism. Then, one day you’ll find yourself channeling a Pleiadian star commander.
PISCES (February 19 – April 20)
People from all walks of life will be offering you advice this month. Hold on to the age-old philosophy, “sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.”
